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The River

11 Oct

It is rainy today in Wettenbostel.  With the autumn air coming in it’s a little chilly and it is hard to keep dry and cool.  Still there is a quietness in the air today as the guys are spending their time installing a new sewage line.  Some nights spent in the hot tub enjoying the warmth of the water in contrast to the coolness of the air and sometimes the freshness of a light rain, looking up at the stars.

It is nice to feel content for a little bit. The quietness of Wettenbostel and the expansiveness of the land around. With the pouring of the rain and the brisk air my mind today is at ease.  Ah.  Just a little exhale as an easiness creeps into my body… still curious about this European adventure of mine but for today less concerned about it.  Our traveling bicyclist is still here working diligently and Dan has not yet left for his next adventure in Switzerland.  This Saturday is our hosts birthday celebration after which both proclaim that they will move on from Wettenbostel.

Somewhere in the midst of being a little hectic and scattered over the past couple of days I felt something shift within me, my inner voice whispering that I am flowering and going with the flow.  How nice to receive some gentle feedback and how grateful I am to allow gentleness to find its way in.  It`s that river, that current that has its own rhythm flowing within me.  I am beginning to feel its strength that I am part of… connected to.  Its current seems to move swiftly within me while my feet feel firmly planted on the ground.  My dreams have been crazy lately.  I am told by my host that the room I am sleeping in is the dreaming room.  For some reason people say that they dream a lot in that room.

And now it is time to go work.  No guests this week and the house is all clean.  I will likely help out in organizing the barn today in the wake of the good work and organization of our traveling bicyclist.  And I have just been invited to clear the energy of the barn.  Yeah!  Always fun to do!  Until next time… feeling the flow.

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Grosse Lebensschule

8 Oct

Grosse Lebenscchule.  In english this means “Big School of Life”… these were the words offered to me today while walking with our bicycling visitor from the near-by town of Lüneburg… who is en route to Italy… temporarily delayed in the enchantment of the Seminar Haus and Wettenbostel.  He said “I think Europe for you is Grosse Lebensschule…”   I said, “I think you are right!”

Lesson 101:  Culinary skills.  It is no secret on this blog that work in the kitchen has been mostly a foreign affair for me.  Right next to learning German is the foreign land of the ins and outs of working and happily preparing, serving, and cleaning up in a kitchen.  This domesticy has leaked into my world… and somewhere in there I think i am beginning to see the lesson.  It lives somewhere in the world of generosity… and not far away from being of service. This week I have prepared a meal for our group every day.  Not a world record I know.  Many moms and grandmas and yes even dads I am sure would leave me in the dust without breaking a sweat.  But for me this is… growth. I am learning little by little good things that can be prepared in simple ways and with the inspiration of my host learning to prepare things a little sharp… that is English-German for a little zest!  a little spice! I prepared some vegetable curry the other day.  Very simply cooked with some cocoanut milk added at the end for flavor.  Served over rice.  Today I cooked a lentil soup.  I was teased a little as the red lentils no longer looked red, but I have to say it was quite good… particularly on this cold unmistakably autumn day.

This week has been a little out of the ordinary here in Wettenbostel.  Dan my loyal American companion on the porch was gone for a few days.  But do not fear, for in his place I was and continue to be surrounded by “the guys”… cast includes: our wonderful host, friend of seminar haus/electrician and “regular”  porch member who lives down the road, and our new bicycling friend.  Alway an interesting energy for me to explore… engage… disengage… laugh… go to my room and hide… do some yoga… hang out in the hot tub, go spend some time reading on my own.  It`s a new rhythm for me as someone who has previously spent so much time on me own.  I call it the Wettenbostel shuffle.

I have learned a little German this week.  English seems to be the unofficial language here at the Seminar Haus.  Most of us speak English… collectively we are American, Canadian and German.  But as our latest arrival is still developing his English… it only seems fair that I learn a little German.  It seems kind of selfish to be in Germany and ask Germans to bend to the whim of my English needs.  And yet my German is limited to phrases like Guten Morgen and while at times there is a certain pleasure of exploring the foreign sounds in my mouth… so far they don´t seem to stick.

This weekend we have a group of five sisters visiting for Bed and Breakfast and other than that just the simple excitement of the mixture of all of our lives and energies at work, rest and play.  My computer has been struggling as of late so this week it received some tender loving care from two of our kind and caring cast members and will soon be getting a new hard drive.  I have had less time to write without a computer but am glad to sneak a little time now on a borrowed laptop.

Surrounding farmers have been harvesting recently as I am surrounded by potato mountains on walks. I am layered up in my strategies for staying warm in Northern Germany for someone who has spent the last twelve years living in the sultry heat of the Louisiana bayous.  Nonetheless, so far so good.  Warm tea helps.  A little heat in my room and on occassion… a nice hot dip in the hot tub.

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Learning to flow

1 Oct

It’s Saturday morning at the Seminar Haus.  It’s later in the morning.  The group visiting this weekend has been fed and Dan is in the kitchen listening to music on his computer.  Can’t tell what music it is… but it has kind of a reggae hip hop beat.  It’s a beautiful sunny day but there is still a little crispness in the air.  Leggins and a long sleeve sweatshirt suffice for warmth and comfort.

I have already ventured out this morning… 11:00am being not all that late in the morning for me as I slowly weave into the day.  I took a little bike ride this morning.  Fun, but sometimes a little challenging as the bicycle I use only has one gear.  A gear that is suitable for riding flat, but once you ride up a little hill it feels like peddling a brick.  Plus I must say I am spoiled from years of living in FLAT New Orleans.  A land so flat, they built a hill at the zoo called Monkey Hill so kids could experience an actual hill…anyway, I digress.. it is still bike riding nonetheless and it was good to visit the surrounding fields and bicycle paths as the potatoes are being harvested.  On my way back I visited our hosts neighbor and harvested a few beets, leeks, tomatoes and pears for a little lunch later.  Then back at the seminar haus, more harvesting of apples from the many apple trees…set out for the guests to enjoy.

And here I am in the flow of the day.  Sometimes it zings this way… Sometimes that.  Sometimes it’s quiet and still… wondering what is around the corner.  And the degree of flow here is… new to me.  Oh sure I had some practice of flow during and after hurricane Katrina as well as living in New Orleans.  But I think somewhere recently I just got so tired of shifting I thought perhaps if I could just make everything be still and unmoving… everything would be okay.  Well… that doesn’t work.  So here I am at the Seminar Haus in Wettenbostel.  The land of constant movement.  And practicing going with the flow.

Yesterday was some good strengthening of my flow muscle.  The was a bit of a “breakdown” shall we say here at the Seminar Haus.  Just hours before the guests were to arrive.  So, we all had to adjust… move… and flow.  Guests needed to be moved from one location to another… new rooms to clean and responding to the situation at hand.  We are still in the midst of that breakdown this morning… so far in a more peaceful settled kind of way.  It worked out that there was a smaller group this weekend so the flux was easily accommodated.

A little break for now until more bustle with the preparation of lunch.  Our host just arrived… likely a business will start to pick up.  Time to… ya know… go with the flow.

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The Land of Plenty

29 Sep

I ate a flower today.  Not just any flower… it was called a nasturtium.  And… it was good.  It had a bit of a peppery flavor to it.  You can eat the flower and the leaves!  Who knew!  I am told it has antibiotic qualities to it.  I did a little gardening today with my hostess here in Wettenbostel.  It was a great day.  The sun was shining such warmth that it felt like summer…. even warmer than actual summer!

It was a simple day and somewhat of a diversion as the blue sky and warm temperatures were calling our name.  So we took a break from indoor work and harvested some beets and beans from the garden.  Then I happily sat in the garden dirt peeling the white beans and gathering them into a rich pile ready to cook.  The garden is at the neighbor’s home, a friendly older German woman.  I am glad to see her but I just smile as I can speak no German with her and she can speak no English.  She offers both of us a giant yellow squash from her garden.  Big and beautiful.

We prepared a few of the items for dinner and enjoyed a meal together.  The beets were boiled and cooked then mixed with some garlic and honey.  I loved peeling the skin off of the beets and feeling their beautiful soft flesh… so good and wholesome. The yellow squash was sautéed with green squash and some sweet onions.  On the side – quinoa and potatoes (this is Germany after all).  And the day and the meal was…. rich.  And I felt kind of … spoiled.

It was… a good day.  Well fed by the sun and nourished by the land and the people around me.

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Growth

28 Sep

It’s a chilly fall day here in Wettenbostel and I am on my own today for a little bit.  I have felt unusually conspicuous today… secretly wishing there was some place I could hide away… while simultaneously feeling so awkwardly noticeable.   The men around Wettenbostel were busy today doing work on the roof of the Big Dojo, one of the buildings here.  And I hopped across the street to the home of our hosts to do a little work there.  The sky was big and blue today… but mostly I’ve been diverted.  I think it’s growth.

When it comes to growth sometimes you’ve got to shake your finger at it just a little bit… and give it at least a little tease.  Big bad ol’ growth haunting the halls of my being.  I feel like I have been living my life within the confines of a cylinder about 2 feet wide… a space in which I have contorted myself to fit it…. move a little… breathe sometimes… although not much… and something is trying to burst wide open.  That cylinder is perhaps shaped and molded with my ideas of what is right and wrong, good and bad and how I and other should and should not be. It is uncomfortable stay this way at any rate. But here I am… still holding on.  Growth.

Elizabeth, my Reiki teacher, turned me on to a website called flylady.  It’s a beautiful little site put together buy a woman to help people clean and take care of their homes in a way that is loving and supportive of themselves.  Fly stands for “finally loving yourself” and she joking talks about CHAOS… can’t have people over syndrome.  Cute.  At any rate, what I love about her site is she has created baby steps for people who want to take better care of themselves and their home but perhaps are lost in a world of clutter, dirt, disorganization and are overwhelmed.  Baby steps are what she recommends and she outlines I think 30 of them… one to take each day.  No more.  No less.  Simple loving things that can gently be worked into the routine. I think that is what I need today.  A dose of baby steps.  Learning to be gentle with myself and others.

The highlight of the day… a long walk in the woods.  We are surrounded by squares of fields which are lined with wooded roads for loggers and farming equipment.  I ventured into the woods today on a now familiar path.  A much needed and loved venture into the wilderness…if only for a little bit.

I cooked a little dinner for the group tonight and we ate in community… if ever so briefly.  There is something nice about eating some good food and having us all collected together.  If even for moments.  If even mostly what is heard is the sound of chewing and moaning sounds of food being enjoyed.

So growth is the buzzword for the day.  I’ll mix it in with a little compassion, a few baby steps and maybe I’ll have something I can work with.  In the meantime. the quietness of the night has set in.  Tonight I’ll take it light and await the morning  when I’m greeted with the fresh morning light and the Japanese garden outside my window welcoming me to a new day.

Photo by Michael Hartley

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Passage

25 Sep

It is an incredibly beautiful day here today.  Unbelievable.  The light is spreading its warmth among the trees and it actually feels good outside.  No bite of the cool air. The only sound I hear is the occasional roar of a farming truck driving by on an outside road and a background of the birds chirping.

I think I am going to cook a little bit of macrobiotic food tonight.  I experimented with eating macrobiotic for a little bit back in New Orleans.  In its simples form.  What I learned from that time is that there are foods that can ease and soothe the soul and nurture the inner world.  I cleaned out the refrigerator today and have full stock of what is remaining.  We have some good root veggies that would be good in a simple macrobiotic dish called nishime.  Nishime may not be a dish so much as a way of cooking vegetables.  Cooking them slow.  Usually in a big pot with a thick lid.  Root vegetables… some of which were new to me like Daikon… and other good ones like turnips and carrots.  We have some Daikon in the fridge and a bunch of carrots and I think some cabbage and onions.  Which will be good in a little light vegetable stew.  Generally you cook it on top of a piece of seaweed.. which I don’t have… so I am going to give it a go without it.  When it is almost done cooking you can put a little Shoyu on it for some added flavor.  My experience is these vegetables come out tasting tender and the slow nurturing root quality is softening and healing.

I first explored eating macrobiotic for personal wellbeing.  I had some big emotions locked in my body and macrobiotic had some good clues of things that may help loosen things up a big… so they can move.  Tips like cookies, cakes, breads and chips can tighten up and restrict the abdominal area… making it difficult for emotions to express.  Chewing every bite 30 to 40 times is good and grounding. And simple things like this style of vegetable I’m about to prepare.  Good ways to feel fed.

I am going through some sort of letting go process it seems.  Not always clear what it is that I am letting go of… but I am aware that something is passing through me like the closing of the night.  And there is some pain… some struggle and some saddness in letting its darkness move through me to… ultimately a new day.  In the face of this I am feeling a little edgy today in Wettenbostel.  Little things are bothering me and I am feeling particularly sensitive and well, moody.

Patience seems to be the call as I walk through this terrain.  A few days ago I turned to the Tarot deck for a few simple explanations.  A good resource for me after years of reading cards in New Orleans.  Often the cards can show me if nothing else the texture and the landscape of what is happening… when one is looking to see what’s on the inside in places that are not ordinarily seen.  And what came up in both cases was the death card.  Death in the Tarot is not necessarily about someone or me dying in a physical way, but it is a death nonetheless.  A passage of the old.  An ending that feels sad and somewhat tragic…. if for no other reason than because it’s coming to and end.  And after an sometimes difficult period there is… a new dawn.

So that is it for today.  Death, letting go and nishime vegetables.  Quite a combination. Oh, and not to forget cleaning of some of the upstairs windows in the Seminar Haus.  A little satisfaction from streaking them clean… inside and out.  And hanging out in the gentle light of the afternoon sun.

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In the Silence

24 Sep

There is a silence at the Seminar Haus today.  Not many sounds to be heard except the falling of the acorns from the trees… and Dan, my fellow American visiting here at Seminar Haus, playing the occasional you tube or video on his computer.  Our host is away in France this week teaching a caligraphy seminar to second degree Reiki students.  And with no seminars this weekend in Wettenbostel, the space is a mostly golden… silence.

I have enjoyed the simple things today.  Mostly… being tender to myself.  An omlet for lunch… leeks, peppers and eggs with gouda cheese.  Yum.  And a walk in the golden fields just across the way.  I strolled for a while… then rested and took in the warmth of the ground.  Communed with the rows of fields before me.  I even found a tree stump that had been carved into a little seat.  A great place to rest.  And later a little picnic table and chairs crafted out of neglected pieces of wood.  Ah.  Feels good.

I took a little dip in the hot tub this afternoon.  By myself this time….The heat of the water was intense and shot through me… I could only take it for a minute or two before I jumped out and returned to the refuge of the house.

This morning I found my way down the street to our hosts home for a bit.  I did some work with our hostess and then gratefully received TWO pairs of warm woolen socks… a little preparation for the cool weather creeping in with the fall.  One pair were bright red ski socks.  On my feet right now.  Ah, oh so warm.  The other pair, Angola wool with pretty pink stars on them.  Deeply appreciated and a reflection of the simple ways our hostess cares for us while we’re here.

Dan is on the porch smoking his pipe.  And I am here.  In the building next door called the little dojo.  There is a soft murmur from farming equipment in the background, working the potato fields.  And that is what lingers today… in the silence of Wettenbostel.  A soft, soothing sound.

-Photo by Michael Hartley

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Being at Home

22 Sep

Nothing is permanent.  That’s what the Buddhists say.  And I am all too often reminded of that… 6 years ago when my apartment and the world I knew were submerged in the waters from Hurricane Katrina…  the somewhat vagabond life that followed… living in Texas… here for a while then there.  And then returning 18 months later to a still unstable New Orleans.  My most recent year in New Orleans, I house sat in other people’s homes… 6 months here… six months there.  And now here I am again, wandering… in Europe this time.  How does a Gypsy begin to be at home?

I started this morning with some of my typical rituals… continuing to build my spiritual backbone… knowing, wanting…and sometimes seeing and experiencing that there is a way and place where I am at home… in spirit.  That is the ground from which I build my foundation. Every day.  This morning I read a passage from A Course in Miracles… reminding me to be open to seeing, experiencing and hearing God in and through all things… that God is an echo beyond what we see and experience.  Oneness. And in that space, home to me sounds and feels a lot like “om“!

It’s quiet today at the Seminar house and it has been good to be able to take my time. Grounding.  I’ve been tending to the basics.  Cleaning this.  Organizing that.  And today, Dan, my fellow American here in Wettenbostel, and I had a big adventure and rode bicycles into the nearby town of Amelinghausen. A neighboring town just 8 kilometers away… it is the closest source for groceries and other basic needs.  Armed with bicycles… that were in need of a little tender loving care… we braved the ride, the two, maybe three hills and safely arrived for a little shopping and a coffee break.  It was my first time “breaking out” of Wettenbostel to Amerlinghausen without the escort of one of our hosts and their vehicle. Being there on the bicycle passing the fields of corn, beets and potatoes just felt good and kind of reminded me who I am.  Nothing exciting or dangerous… but just the pleasure of being on a bicycle… seeing the fields expand and feeling the coolness of the wind.  I had to laugh when on two different occasions I had to swerve my bicycle to avoid hitting a stray potato on the road.  Only in Germany.  Land of the potato. We returned to the Seminar Haus, me feeling victorious at having successfully returned to the mother ship.  My legs were stretched from the exercise and my heart was moving faster.

And now, here I am… back at home.  There is a familiar feeling in spending time at Wettenbostel that gives way sometimes to the peace and ease of home.  But I am aware, in true gypsy form, that my life is still a home in motion.  And I like that.  But in the meantime, I do need to take the time to just be.  Be me.  Ride a bicycle.  Work a little in the garden.  Have some time to relax… work a morning in my pajamas. Watch a movie at night.  It seems with all the chaos not so long ago in my life… that perhaps I was lost.  But every day little by little, in the magic, the ways, the experiences of my life and new adventure…in quiet still ways.. I am found.  I am at home.

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Freeing Myself

21 Sep

Since I have been in Europe, I have found that I rely on Facebook.  Keeping connections with old friends, making connections with new friends while traveling.  And… sometimes…staying grounded with the good words that are shared by friends.  Here are a few that touched me lately…  a woman who was in my sorority in college posted yesterday, simply… “make peace with yourself.”  And today I read from Stephanie Jupiter, a friend from New Orleans and doctor, healer, spiritual leader…”Remember it is absolutely ok to love all People. Loving them does not mean you overlook negative habits, it means you 100% accept them for who and where they are in their journey of life. Keep in mind what you put out is what you get back. Tomorrow is Fully Accept Yourself and Others Day. Embrace it and let me know what you experience. ”  It seems that these message are good keys to unlocking something within myself… and that somewhere… making peace with myself lives in making peace with the world around me… the new adventures of Germany as well as the friends, family and connections of home.

I feel foreign here in Germany.  Not just Germany, but Wettenbostel.  And it’s not a good or bad or right or wrong thing… but somehow… unlimited.  Somewhere in the space of spending time with the folks who live and visit here, cleaning rooms, cooking a little food… and extending myself with new people, new experiences… it seems I am waking up something new in me.  It feels like, I don’t know… plenty.  This is connected to being someplace truly new… where there is a different beat.  Where people don’t always speak my language… and where you can have a conversation about driving to Africa… as it only takes three days.  Two days if you “don’t stop to pee”… as I was told.  Finding and exploring that balance between my time.. walking barefoot around the grounds, feeling myself and the feet connected to the earth… and taking a leap…and spending time with others.. even if it’s a small leap to have a conversation with someone who might seem different or unusual to me or with whom I feel uncertain.

Last night we had a little fun welcoming a visitor and old friend of the Seminar Haus.  In typical Wettenbostel form, he came by to hang out, talk, laugh and drink some beer.  Rather than a hot tub this evening, they opted for a fire.  I joined for a bit… enjoying the warmth of the fire.  We listened to music from mostly European musicians which was a refreshing change from hearing so much American music.  It was great to hear sounds with foreign words with welcoming beats and experience a little bit more of Europe through the expression of music.  And Germans sing and play Reggae… who knew?

Today is a cool day with a light mist creeping through the air.  I took a walk in my bare feet this morning and felt the coolness of the grass tickling my toes.  It seems that something new is coming.  I can’t say what it is… but there is something stirring… somewhere in the simple rhythm of being in Wettenbostel.  The walking on the land, the beating of the drum, the being in the day.  Simple pleasures… and new rhythms.

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Wettenbostel

19 Sep

It is a cool Monday afternoon.  Time is moving slow today… some rest and relaxation after the busy weekend.  Autumn is creeping into Wettenbostel as the leaves are changing color and there is a chill in the air.  On occasion during morning walks I can see my breath.  A new experience for me as I spent the past 12 years in the heat of New Orleans.  In many ways it’s a refreshing change.

Wettenbostel, as you may have concluded, is a small town.  It’s not even a town really, it’s a village.   Hamburg is about an hour away by car.  But if you live in Hamburg you have likely never heard of Wettenbostel.  But here it is, tucked in among the potato and sugar beet fields.  Population 57 I think is what I heard.  That’s not including the neighboring sheep, horses, goats and chickens.

The Seminar Haus and Bed and Breakfast where I am visiting is run by a married couple who are both Reiki Masters.  They have a house where they live just up the road.  And here at the seminar house there are three buildings… the Big House, the Dojo and the Little Dojo. Dan, the other American here and myself both stay in the “Big House”.  There are big expansive gardens.  They are not typical German gardens with neat beds all in a row.  They are flourishing and original, just like the gardener.

The Seminar Haus has a flavor and culture of its own nestled in this little world of Wettenbostel.  It has been here for I think 30 years and over the years it has seen creative summer camps, Aikido workshops led by Reiki Master Paul Mitchell as well as visits and workshops led by the Grand Master of Reiki, Phyllis Lei Furumoto.  It is typical on a given weekend to be hosting seminars such as yoga retreats, Gestalt Therapy training, and even drumming circles.  There are many people who feel connected to this place and its extended family is far-reaching.  From the friends who stop by down the road for a glass of red wine to the dozens of Reiki Maters throughout Europe, there are many unexpected faces who in some way call this place home.  For the Americans out there, it’s kind of reminds me of the television show Cheers… with its array of characters… colorful, fun and sometimes unpredictable… just stopping by.

On a typical day, when there is no seminar, some things perhaps are predictable.  You will likely see Dan and lately myself on the porch of the Big House… often with a nose in a book or computer.  And at some point during the day Dan will get the hot tub going… affectionately called by German seminar goers as the “hot pot”… for a relaxing dip in the tub.

And today, well the sun is shining for now and there is an offering of a little blue sky.  Dan as we speak is getting the hot tub ready… preparing wood and starting the fire.  It’s a good day to relax.  Just be as the week will unfold more work to be done.  Just another day in Wettenbostel…

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