Passage

25 Sep

It is an incredibly beautiful day here today. Unbelievable. The light is spreading its warmth among the trees and it actually feels good outside. No bite of the cool air. The only sound I hear is the occasional roar of a farming truck driving by on an outside road and a background of the birds chirping.

I think I am going to cook a little bit of macrobiotic food tonight. I experimented with eating macrobiotic for a little bit back in New Orleans. In its simples form. What I learned from that time is that there are foods that can ease and soothe the soul and nurture the inner world. I cleaned out the refrigerator today and have full stock of what is remaining. We have some good root veggies that would be good in a simple macrobiotic dish called nishime. Nishime may not be a dish so much as a way of cooking vegetables. Cooking them slow. Usually in a big pot with a thick lid. Root vegetables… some of which were new to me like Daikon… and other good ones like turnips and carrots. We have some Daikon in the fridge and a bunch of carrots and I think some cabbage and onions. Which will be good in a little light vegetable stew. Generally you cook it on top of a piece of seaweed.. which I don’t have… so I am going to give it a go without it. When it is almost done cooking you can put a little Shoyu on it for some added flavor. My experience is these vegetables come out tasting tender and the slow nurturing root quality is softening and healing.

I first explored eating macrobiotic for personal wellbeing. I had some big emotions locked in my body and macrobiotic had some good clues of things that may help loosen things up a big… so they can move. Tips like cookies, cakes, breads and chips can tighten up and restrict the abdominal area… making it difficult for emotions to express. Chewing every bite 30 to 40 times is good and grounding. And simple things like this style of vegetable I’m about to prepare. Good ways to feel fed.

I am going through some sort of letting go process it seems. Not always clear what it is that I am letting go of… but I am aware that something is passing through me like the closing of the night. And there is some pain… some struggle and some saddness in letting its darkness move through me to… ultimately a new day. In the face of this I am feeling a little edgy today in Wettenbostel. Little things are bothering me and I am feeling particularly sensitive and well, moody.

Patience seems to be the call as I walk through this terrain. A few days ago I turned to the Tarot deck for a few simple explanations. A good resource for me after years of reading cards in New Orleans. Often the cards can show me if nothing else the texture and the landscape of what is happening… when one is looking to see what’s on the inside in places that are not ordinarily seen. And what came up in both cases was the death card. Death in the Tarot is not necessarily about someone or me dying in a physical way, but it is a death nonetheless. A passage of the old. An ending that feels sad and somewhat tragic…. if for no other reason than because it’s coming to and end. And after an sometimes difficult period there is… a new dawn.

So that is it for today. Death, letting go and nishime vegetables. Quite a combination. Oh, and not to forget cleaning of some of the upstairs windows in the Seminar Haus. A little satisfaction from streaking them clean… inside and out. And hanging out in the gentle light of the afternoon sun.