Tag Archives: Elizabeth Gilbert

Learning to Dream Again

19 Jul

Well, I didn’t mean for it to happen… After five years of travel, big leaps, amazing challenges and opportunities, when I came back to the US all I wanted to do was rest. While elated by my journey, I really wanted a big taste of life that seemed more “normal” to me.  Thankfully, that’s exactly what I got. As a little more time passed, my time and energy went into getting some of the basics going in my life… work, a place to live. This was all good, but after nearly a year of a lot of hard work, focusing on the practicalities of life, and a big dose of “normal,” something started to happen… my capacity to dream was shrinking away.

I wasn’t quite sure what to do… I lived for five years on a healthy appetite and desire for gobbling up new destinations. Despite the obstacles and challenges that came with it, year after year each new international travel opportunity roused excitement in my soul and gleamed inspiration in my eyes. But in the end, after five years, two continents and six countries I found myself in a deep need of restoration and something different… and I wasn’t quite sure what that was.

The Dreamer Card from Doreen Virtue’s Angel Tarot

Here I am over a year down the road, and where does that leave me?  I have found myself lately feeling the need for a new dream but also feeling depleted, at a true loss for it and no inspiration in sight.

So recently I have been taking small steps to get myself into some new space. Ignite a new light. Perhaps open a tiny little door.

Last night I attended a Meet-Up group in Asheville called “Being in Business.” The idea behind it is folks who are interested in exploring and cultivating a spiritual element in the way and how they do and develop their work.  Last night our featured speaker was Lauren Foster, a “happiness coach.” As she told her story, I could really relate to her journey of overcoming many obstacles to reach her dream but also needing support, a new vision and assistance to continue to cultivate new possibilities in her life.

She had us do a simple exercise where we imagined our lives 3 years down the road and wrote down our dream in the area of joyful work. She encouraged us to let go of limitations. As I sat to do the exercise, it was almost as if my dreamer was dead.  She had been down this road before. My dreamer had been on high gear and worked over so hard for so long, it was hard to get her cookin’ again.

Poem by Shel Silverstein

Author Elizabeth Gilbert tells the story first offered by Mark Manson that each creative dream comes with a “shit sandwich.” And that if you really want something you have to be willing to live with the shit sandwich that comes with it. And the truth was, after five years of travel, I had grown beyond belief, had done things unimaginable to me… but was also fully aware of the downsides of it as well as my own personal challenges and limitations.

So where to go now? In doing the exercise at the Meet-Up, I couldn’t bring myself to imagine a specific goal… but I did allow myself to gently explore how I’d like to feel in joyful work in three years. Some images came to mind. Ideas. We then shared our dream with a partner and that made it even better!  What great feedback I received as well as my partner’s additional thoughts regarding my fledgling images, notions and inspirations.

One of the participants in the evening it turns out is international best selling spiritual author, Tori Hartman, who has just released a new book. How satisfying it was to meet someone who had cultivated that level of success in her own life.

I returned from the evening a little… inspired and more at ease. What a relief it was to meet my dreamer again. My dreamer was grateful that I wasn’t going to force her in the road ahead or insist that she live life this way or that way but instead make space for just a glimmer of a softer, gentler notion.

So for now, I am glad to merely have wooed the dreamer back in.  No big expectations. No harsh realities. Just a little tender dreaming that feels good and satisfying instead of just a more harsh routine that was trying to dominate me. Plus, a few concrete ideas of new stepping stones to take…. to keep the dreamer alive.

How about you? How has your relationship with your dreamer been lately? Have you taken just a moment to invite the dreamer in?  Sit him or her down for tea? I wonder what they might have to say. If you have a dream to share, even just a glimmer, I’d love to hear about it. Feel free to share them in the comments below or even send me a private message.

Tags: , , , ,

The Students are Coming!

10 Apr

It was a warmish Spring Monday at English Village.  The air was fresh and clean. It felt great to be outside for a bit before our busy day began.  I was lined up with around thirty of my fellow teachers awaiting the arrival of our newest group of students. Finally, there they were, coming down main street and around the bend.  The street filled with adolescent Korean bodies diminishing in the distance into tiny beings. As we watched them descend towards us, they kept coming and coming…as if an endless assembly of students, until, at last, they had all arrived.

Later that day when students were dressed in their informal attire, I couldn’t help but notice that many of them were wearing the same shirt.  It said… “The Sexy Face” in logo fashion similar to “The North Face,” a brand very popular in Korea.  “It’s a class t-shirt,” an English Village teacher informed me.  “Surprising,” I thought.  How strange it seemed for middle school students, boys and girls, to have a class shirt with that message.

“Sexy” easily drips out of the mouths of Korean middle-school students. It helps to consider, as I am told, that the word “sexy” has a bit of a different meaning in Korea than it does in the United States and standard English.  As I understand it, in Korea it means more like pretty with perhaps less of an emphasis on the “sex” part.  Even so, when I was teaching a smallish class of girls only and removed my clumpy brown coat revealing a more form-fitting sweater underneath, the response from the students was “teacher sexy.”  Such is life in Korea.

Perhaps “sexy” in Korea fits into a category of words known as Konglish.  Simply put these are English or English sounding words that have a different meaning here in Korea.  Many of these words, commonly spoken in Korea, would likely be misunderstood by most English speakers.  Here are some examples.  “Eye shopping” is Konglish for window shopping.  “Oil” is Konglish for gas.  And “cunning” is Konglish for cheating.  Here is a more complete list of Konglish words if you are curious.

In previous posts I have been revisiting the 5 precepts of Reiki, a spiritual practice that has been a part of my world for over ten years. The precepts can be thought of as guidelines to cultivate a higher quality of life and happiness. I brought them up because, in truth, I have felt stressed at work lately. Reminding myself of these precepts is a way to re-center myself and to keep my focus on a healthy and balanced path.  The first precept is “Just for Today Do Not Worry.”  The second is “Just for Today do Not Anger“.  Here is the third precept:Gratitude

Show Gratitude to Every Living Thing.
Ah, this one is a great reminder!  Particularly when one is faced with large groups of adolescent children who mostly just want to go wild in the classroom.  Like the other precepts, I see this as a call to be more mindful and refocus attention to showing gratitude to all living things in my life.  People, animals, plants.  It helps to restore an attitude of reverence and also helps me to take it slow and appreciate the beauty and simplicity of life.

For the coming week, I will be intentional about calling my attention to this precept.  Would you like to join me?

This week I am also revisiting creativity a bit.  With my regular pattern of busy days of teaching and my desire to just take it easy when I am not, I have found my creative life has gone to the wayside.  What is creativity for you?  For me it is writing, drawing, painting, poetry, playing and writing simple songs.  When I feel connected to my creativity, it seems these things just flow like a river.  I simply dip my toe in and there it is.  But lately, it has felt dry and my desire and willingness to visit the flow has been… slim… to none.  I read a post recently by writer Elizabeth Gilbert (author Eat, Pray, Love) offering the suggestion of spending just 30 minutes a day on whatever your creative project is.  This was a big help for me as it gives me a tangible and doable way to pick up the creative path in the midst of being exhausted or busy. When I am so tired and don’t want to do anything, I can say to myself “hey, it’s only 30 minutes!”  This simple strategy has already helped me pick up a painting I started months ago but have just been staring at for weeks.  30 minutes.  Very doable!

How about you and your life?  Any gratitude to share?  Creative yearnings or frustrations to express?  It’s always good to hear from you!  Bye for now from my regular irregular life at Gyeonggi English Village!

 

Featured photo, “The students are coming!  The students are coming!”  Hundreds of students arrive for their time at Gyeonggi English Village.

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Words of Wisdom

6 Jan

Mmmm… content in the warmth of my room tonight in Wettenbostel.  The wind is blowing outside.  A little rough.  Some wind.  Some rain.  A door blown open now and then.  It is about 7:30pm, or should I say 19:30… and it is a time when generally and lately I have been at the Seminar Haus by myself.  The grounds itself are fairly big… enough to feel a little separate from the booming metropolis of Wettenbostel.. population I think 60 or something like that.  The wind blew in my hosts this evening with a little food.  Always a delight to see… my hosts… and the nourishment of course.  Some food for me.  Some food for our groups that is arriving sometime tomorrow evening.  I am told the group this weekend is a young Christian group… young as in 20 somethings.  A little different from the tone of seminars since I have been here… often intense groups and subjects.  Generally middle-aged and above diving through issues in Gestalt or couples therapy.  Sometimes yoga groups and then of course the is the Tantra group….but that is another story.  So this weekend should be a different tone from past seminars.

Tonight has been a pretty chill night.  My household chores are done and I have spent a little time musing on my computer.  I watched a little video on Ted.com by author Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the book Eat, Pray, Love.  I like her.  There is something about her as a writer, as a woman, that I find comforting.  Her presentation was on creativity.  It invited me in to consider… my own creativity.  And after that, I did a little chanting.  You know, my standard nam-myoho-regne-kyo plus the daily practice of reciting the Lotus Sutra.  These chants are the cornerstone of the practice of Nichiren Buddhism.

I was introduced to Nichiren Buddhism a little over a year ago by a friend, Lilly, who I know through my New Orleans Reiki group.  And then I was invited to their New Years 2010 celebration by my friend and Reiki Master, Elizabeth Ohmer Pellegrin.  It was an afternoon celebration of Nicherin Buddhism, chanting, and a wonderful, warm and social buffet lunch afterwards.  It is then I learned that Elizabeth had become a member and received what is called her Gohonzon, a scroll with Chinese and Sanscrit characters on it and the object of devotion in the practice.  She said she felt pulled to become a member and accept the Gohonzon.  She added that it gave her a breakthrough in her life in an area where she had been stuck for years.  Really, I thought.  “Should I do it?” I asked her. Wide-eyed, she nodded yes.  Ready to jump in, I leapt ahead and made an agreement to become a member of SGI on New Years day 2011 and within weeks I received my Gohonzon.

I received a book with the Lotus Sutra and a practice CD and quickly began to learn to chant the Sutra.  It was fun and I enjoyed having some place to put my attention, devotion and energy on a daily basis.  Lilly, a long-time Buddhist, was thrilled and an avid supporter.  She and her husband updated an alter they had for my Gohonzon and in a whirl of energy they delivered it to my home and prepared me for my practice.

I was encouraged to chant for what I wanted and situations I wanted to change in my life.  At the time I was selling gourmet mushrooms at the local farmers market in New Orleans.  “Chant for your mushroom sales, ” Lilly said. “I guarantee they will grow!”  So sure, I did it… and I have to say… that my mushroom sales went up.  In fact the doubled from what I was selling at the time.  So I kept chanting.

Mostly I was chanting for my healing.  My moving through my “whatever it is” that has been challenging me… most notably since my senior year in college.  Healing from life after ten years of the anti-depressent Paxil, the challenges of life after the drug, and the I wasn’t so sure that was troubling me beneath the surface.  So I chanted for that.  And chanted.  And I still chant for that.

Months after becoming a member everything in my life shifted and left me racing to find my bearings.  So many changes all at once…which opened the door for me to leave New Orleans and visit for a while here in Germany.  So I leapt.  I leapt in a space of enthusiasm and joy.  And I leapt in a space of uncertainty and discomfort in the face of the many challenges I still felt with myself.

I chanted for specific things as I prepared for my journey to Germany, piecing it together on virtually no budget and  a “wing and a prayer”.  I had bought a ticket to London through an online sale.  From there I needed to make arrangements to travel to Germany… and I wanted a place to stay in London for the night before I headed out on the next limb of my travel.  So I began to chant.  Chant specifically… for a free place to stay in London.  Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.  And with Lilly’s insistence, I didn’t give up.  Didn’t give up as the trip was nearing just weeks away and still no place to stay.

And then it happened.  It was a Monday night and I was heading to the Tulane University campus for a Landmark Education seminar.  I was “assisting” or helping out with the seminar.  On my way in, I saw a familiar face in a unfamiliar environment.  He was a seminar leader who lived in Austin, TX.  I knew him from my time living there and participating in Landmark Seminars post-Hurricane Katrina.  I did a double take and confirmed it was him and learned that he and a few other folks were visiting the seminar from Austin.

I arrived in the seminar room and greeted my friend and  “boss” for the evening who was leading the logistics for the seminar.  She knew about my upcoming travels and desire for a place to stay in London.  “You know” she said, referring to my friend and seminar leader from Austin, ” his mom lives in London and she hosts people sometimes when they come to town…”  What?!  I thought.  No way.  You have got to be kidding me!  I was so amazed and delighted and the wildness of events coming together… and my possible relief at fitting another piece of the details of my “miracle” journey… that is how to go to Europe with virtually no money. Later that night he and I chatted and with a little good fortune, we were able to arrange for me to stay with his mom for the night in London.  I was glad to offer her and her husband a little Reiki in gratitude.  And, as it turns out, his mom had practiced Nichiren Buddhism for about 15 years herself.  Interesting…

Nichiren Buddhism has been a lovely segment of my time here in Europe so far.  It is an international organization with groups that meet in villages, cities and towns all over the world.  Here in Wettenbostel, I have connected with an SGI group in Hamburg.  I have met many people there, visited with them and chanted with them in their homes.  I also have connected with Nichiren Buddhists closer to Wettenbostel in near-bye Lüneburg.

While visiting the Black Forest I was able to connect with two SGI different groups.  One in the lovely city of Karlsruhe and the other, an intimate gathering at a home in a village not far from Karlsruhe.  Both places brought me a little… I don’t know… peace.  There was something in me that just felt at ease… much-needed respites on my journeys.  Some care, some comfort and hospitality.  And the comfort of community… no matter where I am in the world.

So I continue to chant.  I chant for my healing, my life and my journey.  I chant for my friends and my family.  In this Buddhism they say the most important thing is to be happy.  And that is why we chant.  And I am learning from my time and practice that being happy isn’t about blissfully eating bonbons on a cloud.  It is meeting the challenges of my life as the unfold, doing my best to take responsibility for them, and continuing to move forward in my life and face them.  And not ever giving up.  So I chant, I chant for courage to face the challenges and discomfort with myself and my life.  I chant for healing.  I chant for inspiration.  I chant for love.  Ah, it is so good.  Nam-myoho-renge kyo, which literally means “I devote myself to the Lous Sutra.”  For me, true words of wisdom.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Needing to be

29 Aug

I am sure many of you are familiar with the book and now movie Eat, Pray, Love.  In the real-life story a 30 something woman finds herself in transition… unglued, unlocked… and makes a choice to spend a year traveling.  3 months in Italy… Eat.  3 months in an ashram in India… Pray.  And 3 months in Bali… ultimately love.  Before I made the choice to embark on my journey in Europe, I remember an experience I had.  It was in the bathroom of the mostly empty home where I was house sitting in a suburb of New Orleans called Metairie.  In full transition form, I was living there lightly.  The house was empty and for sale. I had set up an inflatable mattress in the bedroom.  My friend and Reiki teacher, Elizabeth Ohmer Pellegrin, who was sharing the space for her Reiki practice had thankfully set up a futon and coffee table in the main room.  Ah, a little comfort of home in the sparseness of it all.  Things were coming to a close at the house and a transition ensued in my world.  The house was under contract, all of my personal belongings fit into a storage unit the size of a closet, and my 1996 Ford Taurus, which had given me 5 good years, was about to collapse.  What am I going to do?  I looked in the mirror in the bathroom… and what I heard was… Eat, Pray, Love…. I smiled a little to myself… taking some comfort in the possibility of a journey.  And that I might deserve to have such an adventure.  I was in need of one.

But where, for now, Ms. Gilbert and I depart ways was she had a plan… a framework for her journey… and at least,I think, an advance on the book she was writing.  And so it seemed, as I canceled my return flight to the states in June and rescheduled it for May of 2012… I was excited but also in a state of the unknown.  Unknown of where I would go and what I would do and unknown how I would finance my adventure…  Now I have some practice and power with this state of being living the mischievous life that I have led in New Orleans… and then of course post-Katrina.  A friend once told me that I am like a cat… I always land on my feet.  But jumping and leaping all of the time can get… exhausting.  It’s that word again… balance.  It seems, here in my state of flux I am craving it.

So I had a little walk today with Marijke, my friend and host in the Netherlands and she asked me… what is your wish?  What is you wish for your time in Europe?  And in a way, the conversation was a surprise for me.  I suppose I was thinking that in going with the flow I would have to surrender to the will of the way…  and in the way, no one asked me about my wish. That somehow I did not have a choice.   Hmmm, interesting question, I thought…  I have to admit, a few weeks into my visit in the Netherlands… I have a lack of focus and what seems to be a handful of possiblibilities for “what’s next” depending on this, depending on that… My “dependence on” has me hypnotized by my need… and less in the here and now.  But she offered, I could consider my wish… and have that as my intention.  For example, she offered, Ms. Gilbert and Eat, Pray, Love… the book that she happens to be currently reading… started out with an intention… of where she would be for each period of her journey.  She offered that as something to consider.  What is my intention?  What would I like this year to look like… with off course leaving room for flexibility and shifting and unexpected opportunities.  But a nice idea nonetheless!

And somewhere in this I find that I need room to be… where I am… and the idea of immediately moving here, then moving there… no maybe there… is a little unnerving.  What would I like?

I don’t know the answer to that question yet.  But I will spend some time chanting about it and sending Reiki.  How does one walk that path… of going with the flow, listening to and being guided by a higher wisdom… but still feeling and staying grounded along the way and being connected to our own wants and desires.  Hmmm… I have explored this road before.  But now, in Europe, in Alkmaar, the volume seems to be turned up a little higher.  It’s so nice to have someone who is kind enough to ask the questions… on a lovely stroll through the maze of paths near her home.

Tonight, friends of Marijke’s are coming to her home to join us for a little socializing and some Reiki.  And for me… it’s hard to just be with all these questions running through my head!  Alas, maybe I’ll start with exploring and asking… what do I want… what is my wish?  And explore the spirit of the intent for my journey.

Tags: , , , ,

%d bloggers like this: