One day at a time

1 Nov

Here I am.  In the now.  In the kitchen in the now.  In Wettenbostel.  I have a little tickle in my stomach as if something exciting is going to happen… like a child waiting for Santa… but what the excitement is… I do not know.  There is a wintry chill in the air which makes me feel a little like Christmas and I am cooking some food for myself which makes me feel homey and content.  I can not believe that I have a little time one my own in the quietness of the kitchen.  Like all of the “little ones” are all snug, tucked in their beds… my hosts down the street at their home and Jörn asleep.

So what to talk about today as I am preparing my meal.  I remind myself of when I was little and would concoct a delicacy from vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup, stirring it and explaining it to… I don’t know… the audience… as if I was Julia Child.  My story to tell.  That is how I feel now.  Cooking my simple meal feeling extravagant about it as if I was a chef.  Brown rice.  Zucchini with some leeks, onions flavored with a little olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt, pepper and oregano.  Bon Appetite!

Today I cleaned rooms.  Yes you have heard me say this before…. but sometimes, cleaning rooms can be a  delight… yes and some distraction and time for a break or two… but definitely room for delight.  The beds are covered with big fluffy comforters and pillows.  Preparing the beds, cleaning and tidying up has room for some fun.  Time for warmth as if guests will be arriving soon.  And they will… a new seminar this weekend… in a few days.

Jörn is the most recent addition here at Wettenbostel.  My fellow traveler of sorts, as noted in recent posts.  Living in the town about 30 kilometers away, he arrived here on bicycle intending to begin an extended tour.  In his spirit of go with the flow, what he found instead was a whole world at the Seminar Haus inviting him in for a spell.  So he parked his bicycle and for now… he is here.  Jörn is German, as is not unheard of living here in Germany.  And his German is very good.  His English is… growing.  And in all fairness… my German is… well as Jörn said today “Genau, genau, genau”… that is practically the only word I can regularly recall.  Under most circumstances Jörn and I can communicate fairly well, him bravely speaking and expanding his English and me speaking slowly and finding simple and alternate ways of saying what I am trying to say.  But the other day after working, working working, I went to ask him a question and he ran away from me with the laundry basket on top of his head screaming, “I don’t speak English!”  I guess it was enough.

Returning again to the kitchen, enjoying my lovely meal, still appreciating the tickling coolness of the air… I will see what is next that calls me in the quietness of my evening.  A little painting.  Perhaps some Buddhist chanting. Some writing or reading.  All in this day.  And tomorrow can wait until… well tomorrow!

Photo from the Seminar Haus gardens by Michael Hartley

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Being in Balance

31 Oct

Balance.  Ah… that elusive pendulum… moving from side to side.  I think at some point, afraid of losing my balance…I just stopped moving at all… tried to stay very still.  Frozen.  This is not a good strategy for balance.  It promotes something that is a little more like… I don’t know… a rock…  Unmoving.   Unmoving rock=no balance.  I don’t recommend it.

So here I am starting to move and sway just a little bit in the locomotion of the balance of me… in Europe… in Wettenbostel.  For me, part of being in balance was just taking the leap and buying a ticket to come here over five months ago.  The beginning of motion…. of moving the rock.   A much-needed shift that was somehow essential for me.  I can remember not too long ago in New Orleans sitting at a Tom McDermott concert in City Park listening to his smooth sounds on the piano partnered with clarinetist Evan Christopher… and although I was enjoying the music… I also felt a creative yearning in me… that was somehow denied.  Not just denied, but that I felt like I had lost access to.  I asked myself, my greater wisdom… I know I am creative, but right now I don’t feel anything like creative.  What can I do to access my creativity again?  The answer I got was… leave the United States.  A little more fertilizer for the seed that was already planted.

I have learned that balance for me starts with simple thing… like getting a good night sleep, walks outside and being connected to nature, doing my regular healing practices like yoga and Reiki.  Drinking plenty of water, not eating sugar and eating healthy and balanced (not always easy for me here at the Seminar Haus!…) And remembering simple things like just listening to music makes me feel great… Some areas of balance for me are still being revealed.  When to go out and play.  Learning to set good boundaries with people.  Connecting to and listening to my heart.  Staying grounded.  Learning to work again… with persistence, fun and quality… and learning when, if no-one else will, to give myself a break.  Ah, there is a way.

My bicycling traveling German friend here in Wettenbostel, Jörn… who for the time being is not traveling and really not bicycling either… but still German, has been a good example for me about work and quality.  Somewhere programmed in his German being he has an immaculate work ethic, working thoroughly and diligently on every last detail.  It is really quite something to see.  Now don’t get me wrong… I have tried to influence him with some of my Big Easy, Laissez les Bon Temps Roulez attitude… but there is a time and place for everything, for all of it.  Balance.

Back in New Orleans, even before Hurricane Katrina… I took some time to make a big change in my life.  A move toward balance.  I took myself off of anti-depressant medication after being on them for ten years.  Paxil.  And in that experience, that rebirthing into me… I found there were many things that were no longer that easy for me anymore.  It was hard to concentrate.  Challenging to work.  Challenging to think clearly.  I got overwhelmed and anxious easily and found people and crowds sometimes too much to take.  I was moody.  Emotionally volitile.  At that time I found comfort in a friends who somehow understood or could relate to the intensity of the experience and transformation… one was a recovering alcoholic who had nearly killed himself drinking and the other had a stroke.  With them I shared an unexpected but shared experience of relearning some basic things and getting a new understanding of who I am and how to function in the world.  One day at a time.  One step at a time.

I had a nice conversation with my host while preparing breakfast for the seminar this weekend.  Some of his past experience includes work as a therapist with amazing experience in the healing and therapeutic worlds.  I shared with him my experience with getting off Paxil.  He acknowledged me for getting off of anti-depressents and shared that, in his opinion anti-depressents can really change the chemical balance of your brain and even damage it.  And while I aspire to create healing and wholeness for myself, I do feel impacted by the experience of being on Paxil.  The painful brain synapses that felt like electrical jolts in my brain while going off the drugs were a small indication of that.

So balance.  And learning, exploring and seeing ways of working and living again.  Trusting spirit.  Living today and letting things unfold.  So for today, after a busy weekend of work, I will relax.  Be in nature.  Maybe paint a little.  Just a day in Wettenbostel.  My life for now in Germany, in the flow.  Seeking balance.

Photo by Michael Hartley

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Power

28 Oct

There is a seminar here this weekend.  The first without my loyal porch companion and American, english speaker, Dan.  Dan has been here assisting at the Seminar Haus for about 5 years.  He is the one I could count on to handle things.  To pull the load.  To empty that last load of the dishwasher at the end of the day when I was… tired and just wanted to…go to bed.  And… he would get up at 7:00 in the morning and make breakfast for the guests while I comfortably slept in… did my morning meditation and yoga.  Alas, it seems those days are gone for now in Wettenbostel.  Perhaps it is time for me to grow and explore more of… my power.

Power is a word that I have shied away from, although I can feel it churning through me wanting to move me from the inside out to a new place in life.  Something in me is hesitant around power or wants to explore and have power in a way that is gentle and will not hurt anyone.  I got a little taste of my power last night while preparing the pumpkin soup for the seminar meal.  We use small whole pumpkins in the soup, known here as kürbis.  I grab a knife and sheepishly approach the subject… like a hesitant biology student approaching my first cadaver.  My host eagerly grabs a larger knife and says with enthusiasm, “no you don’t do it like that… you do it like this… Hi-Ay!”  And proceeds to chop it in half… and almost the table… but not really.  So it was my turn.  A little chop… trying not to hurt anyone… trying to be nice… uh… the knife gets stuck in the corbis about mid way through.  “Come on!,”  he says.  “Get centered… focus on one point” (an aikido term for your center… your power)… and I did and then Hi Ya!  Wow!  All the way through with quite a bit extra to spare!

I went to a healing workshop over the weekend in Hamburg.  It was hosted a by a friend, Olaf along with his colleague Laura.  It was their first workshop together.  The emphasis was on getting into your body. That is getting out of your head… being physically present within your body.  I have found over recent years that being in my head is a way that I avoid pain or uncomfortable emotions…. but it also keeps me disconnecting from life and being present.  The theme for the day was “arriving.” During the day long workshop we practiced simple things… like connecting with a partner and standing and sitting on each others feet… helping us to feel and be grounded.  We walked and danced and moved to music.  And we got in groups and took turns caring for one another with message, touch and energy work.

Later in the workshop we came to a point where we were doing a simple trust exercise.  One person is in the middle, like a pendulum, and they let go as all of us encircled around them gently catch them and nudge them in a new direction where they are caught again.  I was the last one to go.  I stood in the middle a little surprised by my hesitancy.  I was told by Laura, Olaf’s colleague, all you have to do is trust.  I wasn’t so sure that I wanted to do that.  I let go a little and they bobbed me gently from side to side.  And then I landed heavily in the space of Laura, one of the facilitators.  She let me land in her and then… she did not move me to a new direction… but held me in her… and she stayed there… and stayed there… and I stayed there.  I felt my own resistance and my arms and hands felt like led, almost unable to move.  I finally pulled away, and she engaged me straight in the eyes as I felt the pain pull and tug within me… wanting to hide yet also wanting to let go.  With compassion she said I would like to offer you a treatment.  I agreed and she gently led me aside for a private energy treatment.  I laid on the floor and she placed her hands in different positions on my body and with some gentle coaching on her part, something in me started to release.  Surrender. Deeps sobs came of my body from someplace deep within me… someplace that I had been hiding and holding on to for so long.  It really took something for me to allow those sobs to come through and after, I was bare… laying there like an exposed wounded child.

What do I do now? I asked her.  She acknowledged, as I felt, that this was just a crack off of a larger iceberg of pain.  Her advice was breathe… in an out and stay connected to my heart.  And when I needed help, find someone who can help me release what I am holding on to.  And then she invited me to come to their next workshop in a few weeks. Wow.  So many feelings coming up.  So intense. I slowly rejoined the group for the end of the workshop as I was met with kind and loving faces… gentle spirits.

The following day I returned to Wettenbostel a little timid from my experience, but grateful for the company of my host as he picked me up in the cold from the bus station.  It is quite something for me to be with those feelings and experiences inside… and yet another thing to allow others to be with me as I am present to them.  But as I see, this road is essential… almost as if there is no other way but, ya know… through.  As my German bicycling friend Jörn says, it is…the next step.

The following day I felt some of the benefits of the workshops.  As we had done work to reconnect us with our body, I felt like I had new legs.  Literally, as if there were a new pair I was trying on for the day.  And although they were a little stiff, I felt strong and useful in them.

And somewhere in all of that experience there is something  new…a new power.  And power that unfolds through allowing and release.  I had a dream the other night.  There was a chinese woman, with a bit of an attitude but who seemed to have a greater wisdom.  In the dream she told me the experience that I am now having is something new… something new is coming into me, something new is unfolding.  It is not the past, it is not the same.  I told her that I am afraid.  She said  “well…then its going to be hard.”

So with that I return to this day, the now in Wettenbostel.  My gratitude.  My safety within.  The freshness of the sunny autumn day surrounded by friendly seminar guests.  The first hints of a bustle in the kitchen before I help prepare tonight’s meal…tomato soup and salad.  No kürbis to chop tonight.  But perhaps somewhere in the chopping and serving and cleaning, in small and gentle ways I will continue to allow, connect and experience… my power.

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Community

21 Oct

Just another day here in Wettenbostel.  I can feel the rhythms and the flow of all of us here living together as our lives weave through, near and around each other.  The ins and the outs of the day.  The colorful life of living in community.

I woke up this morning to join the lately typical morning crew in kitchen… my friend the bicycling traveling German, Jörn and our host.  They were having a hearty morning conversation… mostly in German.  My host is Canadian but has lived here for about 25 years… so German has become part of his nature.  He can switch from English to German like changing the channel.  Often I have to remind him… as he is speaking to me in German… English please… English… and I push the English button and he speaks English.

I am talking more about learning German… and when people ask me if I have learned any German I now talk more about wanting to, or trying to, or exploring that.  More German has been spoken around here lately with Jörn staying at Seminar Haus… so I find the motivation to learn has increased.  Different people have offered different suggestions.  Learn one word a day… watch movies in German.  So the door to learning is opening… It would be nice to be a part of the secret German world currently such a mystery to me.

It is so wild to be present to a conversation spoken with sounds that I cannot even discern as words.  Language.  Wow.  Really something else. As an American speaking English perpetually and exclusively for so many years in the great big island of America… I came to think, although not consciously, that the language I used to describe things was fixed like truth.  A toothbrush is a toothbrush… right?  But it’s not… In German it is called a zahnbürste… or at least that is what Google Translate says… my trusted translating companion.

Jörn and my hosts have departed briefly for the nearest town, Luneburg.  It is a beautiful city and the place to go often for shopping and other needs.  Jörn who joined us here in Wettenbostel  as a first step in a New Adventure returns now to Luneburg, his home, for a few days… with bicycle in tow.  What is next on his adventure?  It seems it is still unfolding.  I venture to say that he will go will the flow.  I too will do a little flowing… this weekend as I head for a little excursion to Hamburg.  My friend Olaf is leading a healing seminar on Sunday and I will go to attend.

And for now… just a little time on my own… as the ebb and flow of my community in Wettenbostel has shifted on to Lüneburg giving me some time to soak in the silence in the brisk autumn air.  Some time to myself.  Nice and appreciated… but also appreciated is being connected to, among and in… community.

Photo by Michael Hartley

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Warm Season

19 Oct

Well, despite the cold arriving here in Wettenbostel… a warm season has been predicted in my life…. by our bicycling traveling German friend still here in Wettenbostel…  I will accept that prediction.  And look forward to it… with gratitude.

My loyal porch companion and American friend Dan has moved on to new pastures as Sunday he left for Switzerland.  A bittersweet departure seeing a friend move on.  But…  I did move into his room… for now my room.  I can still feel and smell his presence in there.  The ghost of Dan gently guiding me… tapping me in this direction and that on how to be a good caretaker of myself and the Seminar Haus while I am here.  Perhaps some of it will rub off on me.

I am learning how to stay warm in cold Northern Germany… as we have already had our first frost and some of the beautiful flowers and vegetables in the garden are wilting in defeat.  I am heeding well to good intentioned tips like keeping my warm wool socks on the heater to keep them warm and dry and seeking to keep my hands, neck and feet warm.  My scarf is my constant companion.  Learning to make pots of tea to travel with me during the day and basking in the sun whenever possible.  But in addition to learning to keep my body warm and doing so gently and gingerly… I am learning to keep me heart warm.  Just a little.  Beginning to let loose of some of the jagged and prickly edges locked into place like a frozen ghost.  Allowing for a space… if ever so brief… to let go of my thoughts and be in the moment with kindness, good feelings…and warmth.  Ah.  Letting go of the past… the jagged ridged actions of reacting to so much…trying to keep my hand on everything all at once. The forced persistence after hurricane Katrina and other things.  Ah.  A warm season beginning in me as the cool frost sneaks in.

I am feeling so much energy shifting right now.  It seems that so much is changing although as I look around me I cannot say exactly what.  It feels as if I am riding on a rush of energy somehow changing my life… and where it will end I am not sure.  For now I explore keeping my focus is the present although my mind likes to wander and consider what will happen next… like the exciting next episode of a longed for drama series.  Surrender is the call.  I see it sitting next to me… smiling its devilish grin.  Waiting for me to let go and fall to the ways of the unknown.  Intuition seems to be the guide.. finding my way through the dark and unseen.

My beloved computer is now on its way to working again.  New hard drive and system in place I am happily now typing on my own keyboard.  Only one thing is different.  My computer has been through a transformation.  It now speaks German.  German system software, German keyboard… And for now… my computer speaks German better than I do.  My loyal computer repair friends have assured me they will look for system software that speaks English.  But in the meantime I am getting to know my old friend with a foreign twist.

Things are a little quieter again here in Wettenbostel.  With Dan gone and the peak of energy from the weekend party died down… it is now mostly myself and our visiting bicycling friend….fending our way through the cold and warmth of Wettenbostel…. with occasional visits from our hosts and regular electrician, general handyman and friend.  So here I am.  One step at a time.  One day at a time.  Exploring and beginning to find warmth in the cold.

Photo Deep in the Garden by Michael Hartley

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Tender

16 Oct

Sometimes it becomes apparent to me just how important it is to be tender.  Tender to myself and tender to those around me.  I had a little dose of tender yesterday for myself and it went a long way.

It was late in the day and I was at the Seminar Haus.  I called up my hostess whose home is just up the street to see if she would like to take a stroll.  She was just about to head out to walk down the street to buy some honey from the local forester who also keeps bees.  You see, it is my understanding that each village or community has its own forester to look after the woods.  The forester in Wettenbostel lives in a big beautiful home, typical German large brick home.  So she asked me to join her for a stroll there.  I hopped on a bicycle, rode to her house and then we walked down the road to get the honey.  When we arrived we greeted the foresters wife and I said my German… “Hallo” and smiled… after which point I have no idea what is being said in the conversation between her and my hostess.  We retrieved the honey nonetheless.  A beautiful golden Wettenbostel flavor.  Then we went back to her house and made a cake. Poppy seed. Sugar free… sweetened with honey.  A joy for me as I do not eat refined sugar.  And it was just… fun.  To bake a little.  Separate a few egg whites, seeing the butter mixing into the batter.  A little tenderness that I had not treated myself to in a long time.  Companionship in the kitchen and baking.  And some nice tea.  A rooibus tea.  Yum!

After the ingredients for the cake were happily finding their way together, I snuck into the front room and found my way to the grand piano.  Ah!  What a love!  I took piano lessons as a kid and there has always been somethings about connection with the keys of the piano for me.  I can still imagine and feel the grand piano upstairs in my piano teacher`s living room when I was a child.  As I began to play their piano I realized that my fingers were starved… starved for the delicate touch and feeling of connecting with the keys, feeling the weight and the strength as the notes are plucked… and ah the feeling of the pedal on my feet… the damper pedal… connecting the sounds of the notes fluidly together.  Feeling the melody unfold beneath my fingers.  It was like the little child in me who used to love playing the piano was in need of some attention.  So I played for a little bit.  After not playing for so many years, my repertoire is limited… but it was lovely just the same.

In receiving these little bits of tenderness it became apparent just how much I was in need of the them… and that it is essential that I keep my heart open for little ways to delicately tend to that need.  Essentially really.  It’s a need for something… like to be connected to something delicate and sweet… that is almost like the fabric of my being.  As I nurtured that in me I saw the other things that were crying for attention.  Painting.  I have not painted for a long time and have been very hard on myself.  But somewhere, something in me is crying to tend to that need.  It can be quite easy to just go on my day working, doing what I need to do, tending to the basics of this life here Wettenbostel ignoring or denying that which I need or crave.  But it is a survived life rather than a life where I really get to see and be me.  So I see those little things that I need and the quality and beauty connected to them.

Last night we had a party at the Seminar Haus.  It was our hosts 65 birthday.  He jokingly called it his retirement party.  I was curious how it would go as I tend to be prone to panic when groups of people collect.  Surprisingly I felt reasonably…grounded.  Groups of our hosts friends came and along with them musical instruments.  So we had two different bands playing music until deep in the night.  It has been my habit of late to sneak away and hide when social activities come to call… but the excitement of live music set up in the “Little Dojo” called to me much more clearly than any nervousness or anxiety.  Not that I did not have some.  Yes, of course I did!  But I also danced and shook my groove thing and had a pretty good time.

And now it is the day after.  Funny I almost feel like I have a hangover even though I don´t drink anymore.  I woke up feeling a little heavy, reluctant to leave the warmth and comfort of my room uncertain of all the voices and many people joining in the kitchen for the informal day after breakfast.  I took some lovely comfort this morning reading from A Course in Miracles.  Sometimes there is nothing like being connected to the spirit of God and that ultimate feeling of home to find ones way in the day.  And in that way… it is so good to be at home.  Tender.

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Cool autumn night

14 Oct

It is a cool Friday evening in Wettenbostel.  It is after 9pm, that is 21:00 European time.  The bite in the cold air reminds me I am not in New Orleans anymore… but still… being here has its benefits.

The highlight for tonight was catching a good glimpse of the sun setting.  Stripes of purple and gold melting into the evening sky.  And a little good company for the show was appreciated too.  Then, returning to Wettenbostel the nearly full moon was hiding behind a patch of clouds.  All we could see was the glimmer of light giving a hint of  the full story that the moon had to tell.  Then making the way home to the Seminar Haus… meandering in the dark through the potatoes fields… entering through the woods in the back finally giving way to the open space in back by the hot tub.

With  movement and departure surrounding me… Dan my fellow American and porch companion leaving on Sunday for Switzerland and our German traveling bicycling visitor seeking his next destination beyond Wettenbostel, I can feel a little tug of my own wondering if there is any change calling out for me.  My inner voice whispers let go and trust.  And in the quietness of the autumn night it seems quiet possible.  To let go and trust.

For now I will keep things  simple and sweet.  My computer is awaiting a new hard drive and I am typing on a computer in a cold room in the little dojo, a building next door to where I stay.  My comfortable, warm heated room is calling my name.  I must surrender to its call!

Photo of Autumn in Wettenbostel by Michael Hartley

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Moon Over Wettenbostel

12 Oct

I took an evening stroll as the sun was setting.  Fall has found its way to Wettenbostel and as I walk there are gaps in the trees where leaves used to be with sparks of color grabbing my attention.  I looked up at the evening sky and was greeted by the full moon resting on a blanket of clouds lazily making their way over Wettenbostel.  I stepped away from the Seminar Haus through the woods to walk the farm roads outlining the fields surrounded by borders of forest.  A clear sky.  A fullness.  A brightness.  Enjoying the still newness and strangeness of being in Germany tucked amongst the potato fields unburdened by its beauty.

The sun was out today.  A welcome break after two days of rain.  Today we leveled the field  covering up the hole where the sewage pipe was installed for one of the buildings.  The excitement of the chore was our host searching for rocks, digging them up like buried treasure.  We then collected them in piles to be hauled away, happily sitting and kneeling in the dirt enjoying the beauty and phenomenon of “work clothes”… meant to be dirty. What a good time I had today… playing in the dirt with the guys, music blasting in the open field.  I cooked a nice little lunch today with fresh beets and leeks from the garden served with other veggies over brown rice.

I am appreciating tonight the warmth of my jacket purchased at a thrift store in the Netherlands along with my comfy scarf gifted to me by the universe… found on the ground in Amsterdam… now laundered and fresh and ready to wear.  Tonight not much remains but the briskness of the night air… and the optional evening hot tub later.    Our “visiting bicycling traveler”, as I call him,  tells me that you can see your future in the moon… as he considers his own journey and next steps.  It is so bright tonight I will have to take a look and see what it has to say for me.  Then a good night sleep in bedroom of many dreams… I wonder what I will dream tonight…

Photo Autumn in Wettenbostel by Michael Hartley

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The River

11 Oct

It is rainy today in Wettenbostel.  With the autumn air coming in it’s a little chilly and it is hard to keep dry and cool.  Still there is a quietness in the air today as the guys are spending their time installing a new sewage line.  Some nights spent in the hot tub enjoying the warmth of the water in contrast to the coolness of the air and sometimes the freshness of a light rain, looking up at the stars.

It is nice to feel content for a little bit. The quietness of Wettenbostel and the expansiveness of the land around. With the pouring of the rain and the brisk air my mind today is at ease.  Ah.  Just a little exhale as an easiness creeps into my body… still curious about this European adventure of mine but for today less concerned about it.  Our traveling bicyclist is still here working diligently and Dan has not yet left for his next adventure in Switzerland.  This Saturday is our hosts birthday celebration after which both proclaim that they will move on from Wettenbostel.

Somewhere in the midst of being a little hectic and scattered over the past couple of days I felt something shift within me, my inner voice whispering that I am flowering and going with the flow.  How nice to receive some gentle feedback and how grateful I am to allow gentleness to find its way in.  It`s that river, that current that has its own rhythm flowing within me.  I am beginning to feel its strength that I am part of… connected to.  Its current seems to move swiftly within me while my feet feel firmly planted on the ground.  My dreams have been crazy lately.  I am told by my host that the room I am sleeping in is the dreaming room.  For some reason people say that they dream a lot in that room.

And now it is time to go work.  No guests this week and the house is all clean.  I will likely help out in organizing the barn today in the wake of the good work and organization of our traveling bicyclist.  And I have just been invited to clear the energy of the barn.  Yeah!  Always fun to do!  Until next time… feeling the flow.

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Grosse Lebensschule

8 Oct

Grosse Lebenscchule.  In english this means “Big School of Life”… these were the words offered to me today while walking with our bicycling visitor from the near-by town of Lüneburg… who is en route to Italy… temporarily delayed in the enchantment of the Seminar Haus and Wettenbostel.  He said “I think Europe for you is Grosse Lebensschule…”   I said, “I think you are right!”

Lesson 101:  Culinary skills.  It is no secret on this blog that work in the kitchen has been mostly a foreign affair for me.  Right next to learning German is the foreign land of the ins and outs of working and happily preparing, serving, and cleaning up in a kitchen.  This domesticy has leaked into my world… and somewhere in there I think i am beginning to see the lesson.  It lives somewhere in the world of generosity… and not far away from being of service. This week I have prepared a meal for our group every day.  Not a world record I know.  Many moms and grandmas and yes even dads I am sure would leave me in the dust without breaking a sweat.  But for me this is… growth. I am learning little by little good things that can be prepared in simple ways and with the inspiration of my host learning to prepare things a little sharp… that is English-German for a little zest!  a little spice! I prepared some vegetable curry the other day.  Very simply cooked with some cocoanut milk added at the end for flavor.  Served over rice.  Today I cooked a lentil soup.  I was teased a little as the red lentils no longer looked red, but I have to say it was quite good… particularly on this cold unmistakably autumn day.

This week has been a little out of the ordinary here in Wettenbostel.  Dan my loyal American companion on the porch was gone for a few days.  But do not fear, for in his place I was and continue to be surrounded by “the guys”… cast includes: our wonderful host, friend of seminar haus/electrician and “regular”  porch member who lives down the road, and our new bicycling friend.  Alway an interesting energy for me to explore… engage… disengage… laugh… go to my room and hide… do some yoga… hang out in the hot tub, go spend some time reading on my own.  It`s a new rhythm for me as someone who has previously spent so much time on me own.  I call it the Wettenbostel shuffle.

I have learned a little German this week.  English seems to be the unofficial language here at the Seminar Haus.  Most of us speak English… collectively we are American, Canadian and German.  But as our latest arrival is still developing his English… it only seems fair that I learn a little German.  It seems kind of selfish to be in Germany and ask Germans to bend to the whim of my English needs.  And yet my German is limited to phrases like Guten Morgen and while at times there is a certain pleasure of exploring the foreign sounds in my mouth… so far they don´t seem to stick.

This weekend we have a group of five sisters visiting for Bed and Breakfast and other than that just the simple excitement of the mixture of all of our lives and energies at work, rest and play.  My computer has been struggling as of late so this week it received some tender loving care from two of our kind and caring cast members and will soon be getting a new hard drive.  I have had less time to write without a computer but am glad to sneak a little time now on a borrowed laptop.

Surrounding farmers have been harvesting recently as I am surrounded by potato mountains on walks. I am layered up in my strategies for staying warm in Northern Germany for someone who has spent the last twelve years living in the sultry heat of the Louisiana bayous.  Nonetheless, so far so good.  Warm tea helps.  A little heat in my room and on occassion… a nice hot dip in the hot tub.

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