I have been back in the States for over three weeks now. It has been an unexpected time filled heartily with family, life transitions and passages. Saying that my father has passed away is still a bit of a shock to me. I find I am aware that the first stage of grief is denial.
The busyness of life after a family member passing has started to subside and what remains is simple day-to-day living. I am staying with my mother and we each have our own list of things to do at this time. Each day we tackle something new – run a new errand, take a next step to resolve something on our list. Her list is much about the many changes that happen in life after a spouse has passed away. Mine includes tying up loose ends from my time in Korea and preparing myself for “what’s next.”
Being back in the US is still new enough for me that I am enjoying the simple comforts and pleasures that come with life in the States – rides in cars, easy access to things I want and need, comfy couches and chairs, and bathtubs big enough for me to extend my legs in. I find I cherish the Korean habits that still remain in my mind and body. There is my habit of taking my shoes off when I walk in the door or my guilt if I still have them on while walking on carpet, even though no one minds. My instinct remains to do the cute Korean two-handed wave whenever someone is leaving. And of course, I cannot forget my tendency to bow in gratitude or respect… in a variety of situations, including to the lady at the customer service desk at the local department store.
The truth is I love all of these little habits and I cherish them like favorite souvenirs. While I was only in Korea for a year and half, it became a part of me and I am delighted to carry a small piece of that as I move on.
As things have slowed down here, my time more recently is passed with long leisurely hours and neighborhood walks. I particularly enjoy my time at the wellness center at my mom’s church down the street where they offer regular yoga and exercise classes. Nearly daily, I get to enjoy the company of mostly senior members as we embark on yoga and strength classes together. From time to time, we may even do a line dance or two. The people are friendly and caring and it does my mind and body good to get out for a bit, connect with others and get some exercise.
I am just starting to catch up with myself after the recent whirlwind of experiences . The exhaustion is beginning to lift and my mind and attention are now turning to new things.
But for now I am here, in a small midwestern town filled with big skies, open fields and hot August weather. I am surrounded by the everyday sounds of my mom and her life. From the comfort of my mom’s guest room and her sunny back porch, I am also starting to take a look just a little further down the road.
Featured photo – sunny flowers on the steps of my mom’s back porch.
Gypsy Woman 