It’s a spring day here in Asheville. Thank God. I think I have had enough of winter’s coldness and ready for some softer spring energy to come my way.
I am still here in Asheville making my way in my somewhat reluctant American life. Although I have been back for a year already, I am still hesitant to load myself down with too many belongings or make big plans. This American life is filled with appreciation for some of the easier ways of living here but also some conflict about what to “do with” all the colors and experiences packed in my body from my life abroad.
While I still get a little glimmer in my eye when I see and consider locations abroad, for now that spark is quite dim and a larger part of me wants to be more settled in some way.
I can recall my Reiki teacher, Elizabeth Ohmer Pellegrin, advising me that when I returned to the States I would have to practice not getting in a rut. And alas, I find that is true. When I returned all I wanted to do was relax and just lunge deeply into some of the more “normal” and “comforting” things of American life. But I find it’s a fine line and I have to be careful not to lunge and lounge too deeply for too long.
With Spring arriving in Asheville, it’s hard not to smile with the sweet song of the birds outside my door and the gentle blues skies and warmer air. But at times I am not yet at home here and adjusting to my somewhat regular rhythm of work and more ordinary life.
This morning was a nice time for me with a positive burst of energy from my local SGI meeting. It’s always good to be lifted up by the spirit of the organization and the feeling and reminder to never give up, whatever that means for me at the time. Historically it was that never give up feeling that launched me from one international adventure to the next and supported me as I faced my own challenges with anxiety and more while working and living abroad. And now, back on American soil I still turn to it as I feel somewhat uncertain what I want and where to put my efforts now and also sometimes shy and sheepish to go out and explore.
Today at the meeting a new friend and experienced SGI member shared a bit of her story overcoming deep challenges with bipolar disorder and PTSD to reshape and rebuild her life. I am forever inspired by such people as I know how challenging life can get and feel sometimes. How wonderful to be around people moving through those challenges, lifting themselves and others up, and never giving up on themselves and their circumstances. (You can check out her award winning memoir here!)
I am reminded that this year, 2017, is a number 1 year in the world of numerology (2+1+7=10 1+0=1). It’s coming after a number 9 year, a time of big change, and now with the 1 it is a time of new beginnings. After big changes for me in 2016, I am certainly in the midst of new beginnings in 2017, rebuilding and unsure of what it will hold.
I will end with a wonderful quote I found recently by SGI President Ikeda that really spoke to me. It says
- You must not for one instant give up the effort to build new lives for yourselves. Creativity means to push open the heavy, groaning doorway to life.
And so I leaves you now from Asheville, the land of unmistakable beauty and… a few of my own heavy, groaning doorways. But thankfully also some good connections, fresh spring air and an easy relaxed Sunday afternoon.
Gypsy Woman 