It’s a New Year, and like many I am doing the checks and balances of my life — tending to new things and seeking to sustain, grow and develop myself and my life. Recently on Facebook a friend posted a book that inspired him, What Happy People Know. Impressed by his testimony, I took a leap and ordered the book for myself. A friend and mentor suggested to him that he write his own book on happiness. I thought that was good advice and I spent some time considering the lessons I have learned in the world of happiness.
I have had my share of blessings and challenges on the sometimes rocky road of happiness. As I step back and take a moment to consider, these are the lessons and ideas foremost on my mind in the New Year as I continue to forge my way.
1. The Happiness Exercise. Recently I reviewed a course that I initially took several years ago offered by the organization The Art of Living. They had us do a simple exercise… write down the answer to this statement: I would be happy if only________. You fill in the blank. Of course I had my own list of answers. Then they invited us to consider, what was on this list 3 months ago? 6 months ago? And once/if you got those things, were you then happy or was there something ELSE to put on the list as a condition for your happiness?
I couldn’t help but take note of some specific things that I was wanting in order to be happy in my life. Some of these things have been fulfilled in the past couple of years. And the truth is, without much thought or effort, a new set of criteria has sneakily made its way on the list.
The lesson for me is to continue to explore having access to happiness without a set of criteria. That happiness is our nature. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have goals and dreams and pursue and develop them… but I am exploring the well of happiness that is available independent of all that.
2. Life has times that are enduring and times to be endured. This again is wisdom from the Art of Living organization. It was a quote read recently at a regular gathering I attend. We had just completed the Sudarshan Kriya, their cornerstone spiritual practice. I thought it was wise advice and have kept the notion with me to usher in a greater flow of happiness. Rather than being frustrated with hard times or expecting it should be different, I am practicing simply noticing it… and letting it be what it is… not expecting all times to be enduring, and allowing for times that are to be endured. And also practicing detaching a bit from it all, bringing a little more grace to the whole ride.
3. Everyone is doing the best they can. And everyone makes mistakes. This is one of my key lessons for the New Year. I became clear recently just how little space I had for other people (and myself) to make mistakes and that I was carrying a big pile of shoulds around with me (he should do this, she should know that…). I got clear how these shoulds are not serving me at all and it serves me much better to consider instead that everyone is doing the best they can and that everyone makes mistakes. I am practicing in the face of this lesson responding with something like, “Oh, a mistake…” instead of anger. I am getting clear that the shoulds and the anger are hurting me most of all and don’t do anything to foster relationships in my life. In truth this is a big lesson for me and definitely a solid block in the foundation of my happiness.
4. What sustains you when all falls away? This question was asked of me during a particularly challenging time. For me, the answer was simple — taking walks and feeling the sun on my face. I was encouraged to lean on this whenever I needed it… and truly to allow the simple good of it to be enough. I have walked myself through the most challenging of times from losing all my personal belongings and my city being destroyed by hurricane Katrina, to dealing with at times unescapable anxiety. Discovering the answer to this for me gave me a place to gently lean. And in leaning on that, it actually provided a space for all that I no longer needed to continue to fall away.
5. The Gifts of Spiritual Practice. I love spiritual practice. For me, it is like having a home here on earth that allows me connect with myself and who I fully am… and to visit that on a regular business. There are many spiritual practices that are a regular part of my life. Chanting with the Soka Gakkai International, practicing Sudharsan Kriya with The Art of Living, Reiki, Yoga. How wonderful that I can take these practices with me no matter where I am in the world and feel at home. When visited regularly, spiritual practice feels to me like building a foundation of unshakable strength.
Just the other day after chanting for a bit, I felt a distinct feeling in my gut, in my belly. I checked in to see what that feeling was … and there it was, it was happiness. I was there in my simple room with not much happening. That feeling was the fruit of spiritual practice, independent of what was or wasn’t happening in my life.
6. It’s important to feel good emotionally/physically and to take the time to tend to those things. With traveling and frequent change in my life, it is easy to disregard or let important things go a little to the way side. In the New Year, I am renewing my effort to care for myself in ways that support my physical and emotional happiness. It doesn’t take much effort, but it does take my intention and action. For me, this can include taking hot baths, getting a massage, regularly going to a yoga class, finding and connecting with friends. These things are important… but also require my attention in order to happen. They are not things to be disregarded or put on that back burner. What are they for you? How do you tend to your health and well-being?
Those are my top 6 thoughts on happiness for the New Year, a tiny dent in my book of happiness. I am sure there is an infinite list, but those are the ideas that most have my attention at this time.
What about you? What is in your book of happiness? Please share, it’s always great to hear from you!
Gypsy Woman 
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