Tag Archives: Seminar Haus Impulse

Being at Home

22 Sep

Nothing is permanent.  That’s what the Buddhists say.  And I am all too often reminded of that… 6 years ago when my apartment and the world I knew were submerged in the waters from Hurricane Katrina…  the somewhat vagabond life that followed… living in Texas… here for a while then there.  And then returning 18 months later to a still unstable New Orleans.  My most recent year in New Orleans, I house sat in other people’s homes… 6 months here… six months there.  And now here I am again, wandering… in Europe this time.  How does a Gypsy begin to be at home?

I started this morning with some of my typical rituals… continuing to build my spiritual backbone… knowing, wanting…and sometimes seeing and experiencing that there is a way and place where I am at home… in spirit.  That is the ground from which I build my foundation. Every day.  This morning I read a passage from A Course in Miracles… reminding me to be open to seeing, experiencing and hearing God in and through all things… that God is an echo beyond what we see and experience.  Oneness. And in that space, home to me sounds and feels a lot like “om“!

It’s quiet today at the Seminar house and it has been good to be able to take my time. Grounding.  I’ve been tending to the basics.  Cleaning this.  Organizing that.  And today, Dan, my fellow American here in Wettenbostel, and I had a big adventure and rode bicycles into the nearby town of Amelinghausen. A neighboring town just 8 kilometers away… it is the closest source for groceries and other basic needs.  Armed with bicycles… that were in need of a little tender loving care… we braved the ride, the two, maybe three hills and safely arrived for a little shopping and a coffee break.  It was my first time “breaking out” of Wettenbostel to Amerlinghausen without the escort of one of our hosts and their vehicle. Being there on the bicycle passing the fields of corn, beets and potatoes just felt good and kind of reminded me who I am.  Nothing exciting or dangerous… but just the pleasure of being on a bicycle… seeing the fields expand and feeling the coolness of the wind.  I had to laugh when on two different occasions I had to swerve my bicycle to avoid hitting a stray potato on the road.  Only in Germany.  Land of the potato. We returned to the Seminar Haus, me feeling victorious at having successfully returned to the mother ship.  My legs were stretched from the exercise and my heart was moving faster.

And now, here I am… back at home.  There is a familiar feeling in spending time at Wettenbostel that gives way sometimes to the peace and ease of home.  But I am aware, in true gypsy form, that my life is still a home in motion.  And I like that.  But in the meantime, I do need to take the time to just be.  Be me.  Ride a bicycle.  Work a little in the garden.  Have some time to relax… work a morning in my pajamas. Watch a movie at night.  It seems with all the chaos not so long ago in my life… that perhaps I was lost.  But every day little by little, in the magic, the ways, the experiences of my life and new adventure…in quiet still ways.. I am found.  I am at home.

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Freeing Myself

21 Sep

Since I have been in Europe, I have found that I rely on Facebook.  Keeping connections with old friends, making connections with new friends while traveling.  And… sometimes…staying grounded with the good words that are shared by friends.  Here are a few that touched me lately…  a woman who was in my sorority in college posted yesterday, simply… “make peace with yourself.”  And today I read from Stephanie Jupiter, a friend from New Orleans and doctor, healer, spiritual leader…”Remember it is absolutely ok to love all People. Loving them does not mean you overlook negative habits, it means you 100% accept them for who and where they are in their journey of life. Keep in mind what you put out is what you get back. Tomorrow is Fully Accept Yourself and Others Day. Embrace it and let me know what you experience. ”  It seems that these message are good keys to unlocking something within myself… and that somewhere… making peace with myself lives in making peace with the world around me… the new adventures of Germany as well as the friends, family and connections of home.

I feel foreign here in Germany.  Not just Germany, but Wettenbostel.  And it’s not a good or bad or right or wrong thing… but somehow… unlimited.  Somewhere in the space of spending time with the folks who live and visit here, cleaning rooms, cooking a little food… and extending myself with new people, new experiences… it seems I am waking up something new in me.  It feels like, I don’t know… plenty.  This is connected to being someplace truly new… where there is a different beat.  Where people don’t always speak my language… and where you can have a conversation about driving to Africa… as it only takes three days.  Two days if you “don’t stop to pee”… as I was told.  Finding and exploring that balance between my time.. walking barefoot around the grounds, feeling myself and the feet connected to the earth… and taking a leap…and spending time with others.. even if it’s a small leap to have a conversation with someone who might seem different or unusual to me or with whom I feel uncertain.

Last night we had a little fun welcoming a visitor and old friend of the Seminar Haus.  In typical Wettenbostel form, he came by to hang out, talk, laugh and drink some beer.  Rather than a hot tub this evening, they opted for a fire.  I joined for a bit… enjoying the warmth of the fire.  We listened to music from mostly European musicians which was a refreshing change from hearing so much American music.  It was great to hear sounds with foreign words with welcoming beats and experience a little bit more of Europe through the expression of music.  And Germans sing and play Reggae… who knew?

Today is a cool day with a light mist creeping through the air.  I took a walk in my bare feet this morning and felt the coolness of the grass tickling my toes.  It seems that something new is coming.  I can’t say what it is… but there is something stirring… somewhere in the simple rhythm of being in Wettenbostel.  The walking on the land, the beating of the drum, the being in the day.  Simple pleasures… and new rhythms.

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Wettenbostel

19 Sep

It is a cool Monday afternoon.  Time is moving slow today… some rest and relaxation after the busy weekend.  Autumn is creeping into Wettenbostel as the leaves are changing color and there is a chill in the air.  On occasion during morning walks I can see my breath.  A new experience for me as I spent the past 12 years in the heat of New Orleans.  In many ways it’s a refreshing change.

Wettenbostel, as you may have concluded, is a small town.  It’s not even a town really, it’s a village.   Hamburg is about an hour away by car.  But if you live in Hamburg you have likely never heard of Wettenbostel.  But here it is, tucked in among the potato and sugar beet fields.  Population 57 I think is what I heard.  That’s not including the neighboring sheep, horses, goats and chickens.

The Seminar Haus and Bed and Breakfast where I am visiting is run by a married couple who are both Reiki Masters.  They have a house where they live just up the road.  And here at the seminar house there are three buildings… the Big House, the Dojo and the Little Dojo. Dan, the other American here and myself both stay in the “Big House”.  There are big expansive gardens.  They are not typical German gardens with neat beds all in a row.  They are flourishing and original, just like the gardener.

The Seminar Haus has a flavor and culture of its own nestled in this little world of Wettenbostel.  It has been here for I think 30 years and over the years it has seen creative summer camps, Aikido workshops led by Reiki Master Paul Mitchell as well as visits and workshops led by the Grand Master of Reiki, Phyllis Lei Furumoto.  It is typical on a given weekend to be hosting seminars such as yoga retreats, Gestalt Therapy training, and even drumming circles.  There are many people who feel connected to this place and its extended family is far-reaching.  From the friends who stop by down the road for a glass of red wine to the dozens of Reiki Maters throughout Europe, there are many unexpected faces who in some way call this place home.  For the Americans out there, it’s kind of reminds me of the television show Cheers… with its array of characters… colorful, fun and sometimes unpredictable… just stopping by.

On a typical day, when there is no seminar, some things perhaps are predictable.  You will likely see Dan and lately myself on the porch of the Big House… often with a nose in a book or computer.  And at some point during the day Dan will get the hot tub going… affectionately called by German seminar goers as the “hot pot”… for a relaxing dip in the tub.

And today, well the sun is shining for now and there is an offering of a little blue sky.  Dan as we speak is getting the hot tub ready… preparing wood and starting the fire.  It’s a good day to relax.  Just be as the week will unfold more work to be done.  Just another day in Wettenbostel…

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The Wall

17 Sep

Well, here I am.  Back in Wettenbostel.  I arrived after a somewhat harried train ride through unexpected parts of Germany.  I have been here for a week now.  We have a seminar here this weekend which means all three buildings filled with seminar attendants.  Plenty of food to prepare and dishes to clean.  Breakfast, lunch and dinner.  It is sort of strange how I find some comfort in that this weekend.  Comfort in preparing the food.  Being of service.

This week has been a little unruly for me… not so much on the outside as on the inside.  Perhaps it has something to do with that wall.  That wall I constructed of maybe kryptonite… nearly indestructible nonetheless.  It seems to be coming down.  Some days that is okay.  Some days I do not like it.  And some days I just feel sad.

I think it is kind of hard, kind of difficult to live this gypsy life exploring new places, new people, new ways… with a giant wall intact.  It is quite a heavy load and at some point… it just begins to come down…And in truth, it kind of looks strange – traveling around with that giant wall.  Some of the wall began to crumble this week when a visitor, a German friend of my host in Wettenbostel met me and minutes later shared in German… “that woman is so sad.  I see nothing but sadness in her eyes.”  When minutes later this was translated and shared with me in English, I felt like I wanted to run and hide.  I was caught… me and my sadness.  Oh no, I’ve been seen.  I’ve got to get out of here… or at least get away from that man who can see the sadness in me.  As life can go, that man ended up staying around for about 4 days.  After a while it was hard to avoid… that man… my sadness… the wall.  He did not speak good English, but we had a good little chat or two… many sounds and hand signals were involved to try to get each others point across… which is ultimately… kind of fun.  And then he left.  And there I was with pieces of my wall crumbling down and my sadness exposed.

It’s not all sadness, this wall coming down.  There is still time for some play.  Last night I joined my fellow American visiting here in Wettenbostel and our host in an evening out to hear some music in the nearby town, Lüneburg.  It was good to see and feel that good music can still soothe the soul.  I love the connection to that innate desire that just wants to move and shake.  Some of the music was good.  Some was… an adventure.  We listened to really amazing African based music played with an instrument…that I cannot identify.  But it was inspiring, fun and healing.  And other music.. well, let’s just say that Billy Idol was involved.

So here I am.  It’s Saturday morning still.  Breakfast was served and lunch will soon be underway.  The group visiting this weekend are “regulars” of sorts… so some familiar faces and friends visiting.  And as for me and my wall….  well, it’s still there. Not destroyed in a day. But I have set it down for a bit… a little respite in the sun.  Some holes have been busted through and there is some… vulnerability exposed.  All too human.  But what else is one to do as a gypsy in life?  Learn and grow.  And risk.  Risk letting go and have the self be exposed.  And a little good music… and oh a little sun today… those things never hurt either.

Until next time.  Thanks for taking this journey with me!

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Changes

9 Aug

Cha-changes.  They seem to be everywhere.  Changes on the inside.  Changes on the outside… and not just for me… this gypsy wanderer from New Orleans…  I am sitting in room number three in the “small dojo”  at the seminar haus in Wettenbostel savoring a bowl of muesli with strawberries (erdbeeren…) and bananas.  Still sort of basking in the wake of the Friends and Reiki weekend….an extended journey in Reiki with Reiki Masters and practitioners gathering from Holland, Germany and Austria… lots of Reiki treatments!

The theme that jumped out from the weekend was…changes.  It was interesting to see that everyone at the gathering was in major life transition in some way.  We took an evening to share about our transitions.  The common theme in our changes and desire for changes was… Balance.  Balance in our lives and relationships, with our food, our family, the world around us.  Balance within.  And balance with our work and play and the way that we create and earn money in the world.  We shared and took note of what really mattered to each of us… and perhaps wondering where we went astray from that… and looking at… what is next.

For me personally, so much of my adult life has been dedicating to healing.  It wasn’t until my past year in New Orleans that I finally began to experience a deeper, quieter place in myself. A place in me where I could just… ahhh… exhale fully.  I felt the need to keep my life really basic.  This included minimal financial responsibilities, simple responsibilities with work and minimal responsibilities in relationships.   I house-sat in two different homes my past year in New Orleans.  My job was selling Shiitake Mushrooms at our local farmers market for a very kind Mississippi farmer.  The simplicity of this space gave me time and energy just to be with me.  I can recall walking by myself along the train tracks near where I was staying feeling something begin to settle in my bones.  Me.

And then of course what started to happen in my life?  You guessed it.  Changes!  My furniture in a leaky storage unit got damaged from mold… nearly everything had to be thrown away.  The house where I was house-sitting sold… yeah for the house… but what next?… and then my lovely 1996 Ford Taurus which I bought in Austin, Texas shortly after Hurricane Katrina let me know life was heading for changes.  It broke down beyond repair.  I gratefully sold it to a mechanic who was willing to take it off my hands… and then I was, well, perhaps free…

As these changes happened so quickly for me, it was a little more than my brain could sort through and organize, so I reached out for support.  I contacted Maureen Pua’ena O’Shaughnessy, a Reiki Master in Hawaii who also works as an intuitive guide, and scheduled a phone session with her.   She assured me that all of these changes at once were an opportunity to see what I really wanted – that it was indeed possible to have a good healthy work life, earn money, have a place to live where I loved and still have and cultivate the peace and soft pace I had started to love, nurture and need in my life.  And she let me know that as I became an “energetic match” for that life, that which I wanted and needed – including a satisfying but balanced and well paid work life…would show up in my world.  And if I wasn’t quite a match for it yet… if I still needed to grow, then something else juicy would come along in the meantime –  like a trip or travel… and here I am in Europe.  Growing.  Restoring.  Exploring the texture and feel of balance for me in my life.

One area of growth for me is… well in truth… people.  All of them.  Most of them… I can tend to feel… uneasy around… people.  This is not some prejudice I have towards people…  I can also be uneasy around dogs, bees and other various creatures.  But while I began to find my comfort in me, I am still exploring extending that same comfort within myself when I am not by myself.  This weekend at Friends and Reiki was an excellent chance to shake up my comfort zone a little bit and extend myself… and it was… well, uncomfortable.   I was surprised at my feeling of inner panic as if noone asked me to dance at the high school prom. I wanted to run and hide when the group arrived, like I was four years old hanging on to my mothers leg.  But the joy of the weekend came from poking myself out a bit more than usual… connected conversations, playing the drums with others, even playing a little guitar and singing together… things that I secretly desired to do with others, but prior to this had almost exclusively done them by myself all alone…  ah…Balance.

And today my gypsy is tugging at my sleeve again as I prepare to travel to a new place.  Like Mary Poppins packing up my bag and heading off… to where the wind blows. Tomorrow  I will join Marijke Lemmen, a friend in Reiki and Reiki Master as she returns home to Holland.  The situations in my life shift so quickly-like the weather here in Wettensbostel, cold in the morning, sunny midday, stormy by afternoon… except when, perhaps the sun might peek out again…  Totally unexpected.

So life moves on.  And how great it is to be connected with others… changing and balancing.  Perhaps you are too… it seems to be a phenomenon these days.  I have started sending Reiki energy to the idea of change and balance in my life and to those who were at the Reiki gathering.  A little extra support as things spin and shift within us reflected in our outside world.

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My name is Teresa…

29 Jul

This isn’t any sort of formal announcement or anything… no large declaration to the world.  Just my meanderings on my blog you know… while I am living in Germany… when just three months ago I was selling shiitake mushrooms in New Orleans.  You see, for some time now, some thing has been creeping inside of me… maybe creeping isn’t the right word… but it is there nonetheless….  that…I feel like my name is…Teresa.  For those of you not in the “feeling” world this may sound a little odd, but for some time now… perhaps the last few years, every time I say my name is Nancie, I almost feel like I am lying.  And somewhere beneath the surface I hear and feel… my name is Teresa.

Teresa, if you have read the “about me” section is not a strange name to me… not some cryptic renaming… but in fact my middle name… and my confirmation name… and also my sister’s middle name.  For years we have heard and told the story of how my mom was told by doctors that she was not going to be able to have children and she prayed to St. Teresa the little flower telling her if she could have children she would name us after her… and voila… here we are!… over the years St. Teresa has always been a friend to me… she has made her way to me through prayer cards mysteriously showing up in a book at the public library and coffee table at a friend’s house.  I even went to visit her when Pope John Paul sent her ruins on a world tour and she made her way to New Orleans.  Visiting her remains in New Orleans was more like going to a mardi gras parade than a “holy” ceremony.  I got knocked out-of-the-way more than once and people’s hands were up in the air as if expecting beads to be flung from the casket.  But at any rate, Teresa, there she was…

When I first started feeling this name emerge from… ya know… within me… I started playing with using the name as my own in New Orleans.  At the time I was assisting in seminars through an organization called Landmark Education, and they were playful enough to give me three nametags to use during the seminar… Nancie, Nancie Teresa, and Teresa… of which I could interchange and shift as I chose… A friend who I dated for a little bit in New Orleans called me Teresa and I don’t know… it was just nice.  It just felt like in being called that he saw something in me.  Something in me that needed to be seen and was convoluted with all of the “whatever” of being Nancie, nothing personal to Nancie… And so since then I have been using my first and middle name… kind of bringing Teresa into the picture so that if someday I decided to go by that name, perhaps it would not be so … unexpected.

But I put this idea away… somewhere in a drawer labeled “normal people don’t change their names…” and moved on with my life (which as you know included putting my closet full of belongings in storage, buying a ticket to Europe, and moving to Wettenbostel, Germany to live and work with Reiki Masters… sounds pretty normal to me…).

And then recently I made a new friend.  We will call him Fred.  Fred was attending a workshop here in Wettenbostel at the Seminar Haus.  During the seminar I helped out as staff, assisting with dinner, cleaning up… but other than that I was locked up in my shyness or protectiveness or something. I would do my best to smile and be friendly to folks, but mostly kept myself separate.  Then one night while I was at the end of the night washing dishes… Fred came in the kitchen and started a conversation…and I was sort of like… why is this guy talking to me… but he was nice and so… we chatted for a little bit.  I was leaving in the next few days to go to Berlin and then on to Hamburg, so I gave Fred a business card so he could email and keep in touch.  He read the name on the card outloud  “Nancie Teresa…” and I loved the way that Teresa rang in my body as he said it… “Teresa…”

As it turned out Fred lived very close to where I was staying in Hamburg so we connected and spent a little time together.  And one day he asked me, “which name do you like better… Nancie or Teresa…”.  Funny you should ask I thought… so I said, “Teresa”… and from then on to him I was Teresa.  How fun!  It was so great to get the messages pop up on facebook… “hello Teresa!…” You get the picture.

I played with it a little while in Hamburg, trying to keep track of who I told my name was Nancie already, so as not to confuse them and who I hadn’t.  When strangers I met asked me what my name was I said,… “Teresa”… and there it was, like a seed growing curiously…

A little about St. Teresa.  I can’t say that I am an expert on her, know everything about her, but I can tell you she was connected to flowers and said that after she died she would send a shower of roses to the earth.  She was a nun and lived in a convent when she was very young and was a mystic… had visions and intense connections and experiences with God.   She was also known as the saint of the little things… showing her love and dedication not through large great acts, but through the intimacy and intricacy of the little things, the daily things.

And here I am in Wettenbostel, trying to learn to get out of my way to find the joy in the little things… the flowers, the weeding of the garden, cleaning the rooms, doing the dishes.  Remembering the message from my Reiki Teacher Elizabeth to be really present and to put all of my love into the work that I do while I am here.  “Wax on wax off…” she said.

Again this is not some big declaration, but an inquiry… a curiosity, an expansion… Teresa.  And hoping my sister does not mind if I use the name in case she too one day wants to use it and then we would both be Teresa, talking about my sister Teresa… anyway, I digress…

As you may have guessed, I have returned to Wettenbostel beginning my journey back into the world of the little things.  Seeing if I can give myself permission to actually just relax and enjoy myself being here.  In some way it feels so indulgent.  I let it go for just a moment today, sitting on the porch of the “big house” watching the willow tree sway in the wind surrounded by the gardens of flowers.

We have a new visitor right now who is a Reiki Master from Holland and other guests will begin to arrive in the next days as we prepare for our next event… Friends and Reiki.  A collection of Friends in Europe who all practice Reiki will be coming next week for a few days of spending time together and sharing Reiki.  Some will arrive early to take in the sometimes slow and leisurely pace of the country and the seminar haus.

And I, well right now I am dabbling in a book called “the soulmate secret” by Arielle Ford that my American friend here lent to me.  And I had to laugh when as I was reading it a band practicing nextdoor at the village outdoor theater struck up the song “here comes the bride”… anyway… another day.  Another day back in Wettenbostel. And the little things.

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