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Two Days in Paris

5 Sep

It was almost a miracle to me that I was able to carve out two days in Paris.  After spending the summer just hours away I wasn’t sure I would make my way to Paris.  But I found a way to do it… even on my very small gypsy woman budget.

The cornerstone of my stay?  An inexpensive place to stay!  We are talking unbelievably inexpensive…  Through the website airbnb.com I booked a place called Paris B&B for Girls.  Now, the term B&B may be stretching it a bit but for the remarkable price of 8 Euros a night (about ten dollars) I got my very own bed in a group room.  While it was far from “fancy” it was a very clean place run by a nice family who spoke good English.  It was tucked away in a safe neighborhood that had easy access to all there is to see in Paris.  They even offered complimentary croissants and orange juice in the morning!

After my first night’s sleep on Friday I woke up on Saturday raring to go.  I hit the streets walking and purchased an overpriced map of Paris.  I became a shameless tourist, map in hand and camera not far behind.

For me Paris was a visual feast.  Here are some of the highlights of my two days in Paris!

That’s me in front of Notre Dame.

Notre Dame Cathedral 
There she was in all her glory.  I was easily led there by my trusted map companion.  Just arriving there felt like some sort of personal victory for me.  I soaked up the fair weather day as I admired her flying buttresses.  It is free to enter the cathedral and I eagerly joined the queue.  Within minutes I found myself inside gripped by the sense of majesty in the silence.  I wondered around looking up at the ceilings and down at the floors.  I was in awe of the stain glass windows.  Being there felt epic and I felt large and small at the same time.  I wandered through an exhibit on St. Teresa the Little Flower and then stayed around for mass.

Sacre Coeur Basilica
I almost didn’t go here.  It was “out-of-the-way” from where I was visiting and staying.  But one night I found myself heading in that direction and gave way to a visit.  I wandered down the nearby Avenue de Clichy and couldn’t help but be struck by the contradictions.  As I walked down the street I passed the Moulin Rouge and various other sex shops and shows with their bright colors flirting with the tourist crowds.  And then a quick left turn, a short walk up a hill through a crowded street and Sacre Coeur was in view glistening in the evening sunlight.

I have to say she didn’t disappoint.  I may have even gasped in wonder at first sight.  There she was on top of a hill overlooking the city.  I made my “pilgrimage” to her, one step at a time, one flight of stairs at a time.  My ascension was surrounded by street musicians and vendors.  Shameless tourism danced and played all around the Cathedral.  There was a puppet show of Noah’s arc and designer knock-off purses for sale.  I paused from my determined trek up the stairs and turned around.  I felt my heart leap as the city of Paris opened up below me.  Around me there were people laughing and lounging while beer and water were peddled to the masses.  By this time it was early evening on a Saturday night and the monument had turned into a party.

I stood around and took in the scene.  The musician playing his guitar and singing to the crowds.  The performer swinging from the street lamp while juggling a ball with his feet.   And then finally… I entered Sacre Coeur.  I was greeted by the gentle but awesome energy of the  mosaic of Jesus with his arms open wide and his sacred heart.  I let the basilica, her beauty, her history, move through me as I walked around.  Until… it was time to leave and I made my way back out to the party.

On  the way down I discovered there is an elevator of sorts that looks almost like a ski lift or a carnival ride to take tourists up and down the someone daunting elevation to Sacre Coeur.  Ever the budget traveler, I smiled at the idea of taking a ride then continued down the path by foot until once again surrounded by the streets of sex and scandal.  I found a metro station and made my way home.

In the Jardin de Luxemburg

Jardin de Luxemburg
I found this unexpectedly.  The Jardin de Luxemburg.  Me and my map had been playing around town and I was on my way to the Pantheon.  What a thrill to stroll the streets of a city speckled with so much astounding history and beauty.  A funny thing happened on the way to the Pantheon.  I got tired.  I mean really tired.  And in no time at all I was offered gentle respite.  It was an inviting reclining chair in a park-like setting.  I wasn’t yet sure exactly where I was, but for a good long moment I took it in and just enjoyed relaxing in the moment baking in the late morning sun.  As my body gave way to the chair and the moment, I couldn’t help but notice the sound of music coming from not too far away.  Like following the tune of the pied piper, my body, despite its fatigue, rose to find out where it was.

In no time at all I discovered a bandstand surrounded by a cafe in the midst of a garden and trees.  A Parisian jazz band was playing and the crowd soaked in their tunes.  A little girl was up front unabashedly struttin’ her stuff and I appreciated the musical respite.  In time I found myself distracted by a beautiful array of flowers framing the front lawn of the French Senate building.  As I investigated further I found a large fountain where children could rent and launch miniature sailboats.  The garden led me to neatly manicured cubist trees and locals and tourists alike enjoying a warm Sunday afternoon.  What a beautiful detour, distraction and delight!

Thrift Store Shopping
No, not the typical Parisian diversion.  A friend of mine suggested that I buy myself a little something at a local thrift store to remember Paris.  A great idea that fit my budget!  I am not a vintage or discount designer kind of gal.  It took a while to find your basic thrift store where one could find a sweater for just a few Euros.  But I found one.  It’s called Guerrisol.  A not-to-trendy but popular store with five locations throughout Europe.  It took a little effort but with some time I found a sweater that suited me for just a few Euros to take home.  I happily brought it to the check-out counter and handed them a 2 Euro coin.  The man took my money and smiled and said “c’est bonne”  which means literally “it is good”.  Yes it is!

Food
As someone who doesn’t eat sugar and does my best to stays away from breads and pastries, France was not the best place to eat on a budget.  Mostly I ate very simply purchasing a few items at local markets doing my best to eat healthy simple food.  I found a beautiful little bakery in the streets of the Ile Saint-Louis that had lovely little open-faced sandwiches that were calling my name.  For only 3 Euros 50 I had a beautiful piece of toasted fresh bread with tuna, roasted veggies, lettuce and cheese for lunch.  Delish!

Croque Madame at Le Nemrod

For a treat one day I took myself to a local budget friendly restaurant called Le Nemrod.  I went there curious to try what is called a “Croque Madame” kin to the Croque Monsieur, Paris famous ham and cheese sandwich.  The croque madame adds a fried egg to the sandwich. I arrived at the restaurant after much walking.  Grateful to be seated at a table I was soon greeted and playfully teased by the local staff. I ordered my croque madam, a small cup of decaf coffee and a glass of water.  I enjoyed a little conversation from other waiters curious about where I was from.  Happily, I enjoyed my meal and for the bargain price of under 10 Euros.

Even with a very small budget, my visit to Paris was priceless.  The city itself has so much to offer and I am much richer for the experience!

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The Sweet Life

7 Aug

It’s another mild day at Les Battees.  The coolness of the summer breeze leaves me feeling content and relaxed while the warmth of the sun has me melting, happy and satisfied.  Our busier pace continues here at Les Battees.  July is the typical travel time in Europe and now bleeding into early August.  The chambre d’hotes has been booked full and we have been busy workers!

I originally found out about Les Battees through the website helpx.net.  Roy, the owner of Les Battees, and I traded emails exploring the possibility of a visit to determine if it would be a good fit.  The general agreement through helpx.net is work in exchange for room and board. I mentioned in an email that I don’t eat refined sugar.  Not a drop.  I asked Roy, “would that be a problem?”  “I don’t know why it would be,”  he replied.

Living life without sugar has become a regular way for me.  People may ask or even assume that I am allergic to sugar and that’s not quite the truth.  I describe it more as being sensitive to sugar.  I am like every other “good” American raised on plenty of sugar and sweets.  I never would have considered cutting sugar out of my diet until I saw a friend reading the book Sugar Blues by William Duffy about 8 years ago. I was in the midst of a major personal health transformation and willing to make any changes necessary to feel better. I was intrigued by the book and decided to give it a read for myself.  After reading it I considered the possibility that sugar may be acting like poison in my body and impacting my mood and well-being.  I decided to give it a shot without sugar and see what a difference it made.

The first thing I noticed was that sugar is in everything.  Spaghetti sauce, bread, mayonnaise… you name it.  I became a fervent label reader and with persistence successfully explored a diet with no sugar.  Without sugar, I noticed my mood felt a bit lighter, my anxiety reduced, and my anger and mood swings lessened.  As my body was no longer used to sugar, even a tiny bit of sugar immediately triggered my mood to drastically turn for the worse.  Additionally my body just no longer “felt right” when I ate sugar.  So I am very clear… no sugar for me! When I say sugar I am referring mostly to refined sugar.  I still enjoy moderate amounts of natural sugars… honey, agave nectar, fruits and fruit juices.

I was recently turned on to a website called radiant recovery.  The founder of that website, Kathleen DesMaisons Ph.D, is a scientist and the website is based on her working theory of sugar sensitivity.  According to Dr. DesMaisons, someone is sugar sensitive if they have unstable blood sugar, low serotonin and low beta endorphin.  She has created a 7 step diet that when followed can help create balance.  This diet, strangely enough, includes eating a potato before bed.  She has written a book about this called Potatoes Not Prozac: Solutions for Sugar Sensitivity.

Life without sugar has not been a bad thing for me!  In fact, here at Les Battees I am definitely living the sweet life!  My host Roy doesn’t hesitate to replace sugar in some dessert recipes with honey.  I have enjoyed, in moderation, wonderful apple pie, roasted apricots and rhubarb, all sweetened with honey.  And of course, there is never sugar added to Roy’s wonderful vegetarian main dishes.  Fabulous savory tarts and cobblers.  No deprivation here!

It has certainly been worth it, this adventure in the sweetness of life without sugar.  I am a lot happier and feel better.  And there are still plenty of wonderful foods to enjoy along the way!  Bon Appetite!

Photo of olive polenta served with roasted vegetables prepared by Roy Patchett, owner of Les Battees.

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Patience

14 Jul

It’s the fourteenth of July… a national holiday in France, Bastille Day!  I am told there will be fireworks in town, about a kilometer up the road, to celebrate the holiday. Today is Saturday and after serving dinner for ten people last night … Roy, the chef and owner of Les Battees, and me the lovely assistant… are in need of a little recovery.  We spent at least some of today digging out the kitchen until… alas… all is clean and mostly dishes and pans are happily tucked away in their proper homes.

I am starting to make plans for my “what’s next” when I leave Les Battees.  Attempting to strike that balance of being present and making preparations for the nearish future.  I said to Roy today, “traveling is a full-time job…”  And so it does take time to investigate new possibilities, get in touch with people, wait to hear back, and continue the process.  I shared today at lunch out in the garden that one of the lessons I am learning  is how to explore the possibility of many things without attachment to one idea being “the way”.  I have learned so far on my journey that it does me no good to get attached to an idea of what is next… sometimes plans work out sometimes they fall through and sometimes an even better idea comes along.  Presently I am practicing balancing multiple options and ideas and making room for possibilities when exploring what is next.  It is a new act for me – an act that require practice and patience… patience as what may be next comes into focus and unfolds… patience in not knowing what exactly will be next just yet and patience with myself when I get a little frantic about it all.  Some days I feel light with it.  Some days I don’t.  Patience.

What is new at Les Battess you ask?  Well we are in Roy’s busiest season, the month of July.  July is  when most French and many Europeans travel so we are more likely to be busy and filled with guests during the week as well as weekends.  This means more ironing of sheets, laundry, changing rooms and beds and dinners prepared.  And more guests!  Guests visit Les Battees from all over Europe.  Many are Dutch, stopping off at Les Battees for a night or their weekend as part of a larger holiday on the way to the South of France.  We also have some French guests, English, Belgium and Swiss.  On occasion… you might just spot an American!  A rare bird here at Les Battees, but not completely unexpected.

Lately there has been less time  for play off the grounds of Les Battees… but still plenty of time for a leisurely walk or some fresh air in the surrounding countryside.  Last week the local farmers came and harvested all of the wheat that was on the fields behind Les Battees.  Ever the city girl, it came as kind of shock that all of that beautiful wheat was there…to be harvested!  Trimmed down the bare ground, there is now a more barren but still beautiful look to the French hills.

Tonight… it is leftovers for dinner!  Not a complaint with Roy’s good cooking.  We enjoyed the Lentil tart from last night’s dinner served with some fresh green beans from his garden.  It’s a cool night tonight with spots of rain.  Perhaps a night for fireworks… but maybe a night for staying in.  A few guests are still to arrive.  And I am tucked into my room with the fresh cool breeze wishing me well.

Photo of a visiting French snail I caught traveling across the kitchen window of Les Battees. Reminding me, take it slow…all in good time…

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Leaving Wettenbostel

15 May

Well, it happened. I left Wettenbostel. I know it is true because… I am in France! I am doing a new help exchange and have connected with a small bed and breakfast in Burgundy area of France through the website helpx.net.

There was a time I thought I might not leave Wettenbostel. Like somehow it was my cosmic fate to be forever entwined amongst its potato fields. Even a week before I was scheduled to leave for France… I was not still totally confident it would happen. But here I am. I have left. And so it seems to cosmos has opened the gate to what is next.

The last few days in Wettenobstel were full and hearty for me. We had a seminar all weekend filled with the usual demands… mostly assisting with preparing meals and cleaning up after. In typical fashion these work weekends stretched me to my max demanding that I take a closer look at myself… is there something more than I can do? Can I look at this another way? It also continued to challenge me in the space of living and working in community and the balance of caring and honoring myself in the midst of much work to be done. Still a wobbly act and a skill that I have not quite mastered. But alas, I continue to grow.

The last evening in Wettenbostel was spent in typical Seminar Haus fashion. The hot tub was filled up and we were joined for the evening by regular faces of the Seminar Haus tribe. We gathered from around 5pm into the evening, hanging out in the hot tub, sharing a farewell toast, and giving and receiving words of thanks and completion. My departure was not a solo act as my new Candadian friends too have left. In a way it was a relief to me to share the departure spotlight with them. It was a joy to experience a little grace in the evening, sharing time with my hosts, the Canadians, my friend Dan from the States and other guests, until at last there was no more…and it was time to leave.

I am leaving a place that has been so colorful and lush decorating the landscape of my life. And yet it is clear that nearly a year to the date that I arrived, it is time for a new scene.

Traveling on the train to France, as I switched trains in Southern Germany to the French train it was like entering another world. I suddenly felt ill equipped not knowing which standard greeting to use… as I was still in Germany but on a French train. Do I say “hallo”… or now “bonjour”? The familiar business-like feeling of the German Deutsche Bahn was replaced by a sleek silver French train with plush lavender interior. As we arrived at each stop slowly getting closer to France I felt butterflies arise in my stomach. It is one thing to leave New Orleans and go spend a year in Germany. And its another thing to make plans to leave Germany and say you are going to France. But it is still yet another thing to actually GO to France.

And so here I am, I have arrived.  I am quietly settling into my new digs… diving into some of the familiarity of my small traveling world. Unpacking my suitcase. Finding my toothbrush. I have a simple but comfortable private room in the downstairs floor of the private quarters of the Bed and Breakfast.   I am surrounded by the gentle and friendly company of the owner and his visiting mother. So far there is an easy laid back attitude here inviting me to… relax a little bit. Maybe even exhale. Yes it is true…  I am in France.

Photo from the flowering gardens of the Seminar Haus, Wettenbostel.

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Learning a New Way

22 Apr

I have been here at Wettenbostel for almost a year now.  What an opportunity and challenge it has been! This year has been packed full with new experiences and people.  The foundation of my “existence” here is my agreement with my hosts to do work exchange.  This idea is simple… I work a certain number of hours a day in exchange for room and board.  It’s a brilliant idea and opens up a world  of opportunity.  My host here in Wettenbostel is very generous about opening his doors to people willing to lend a hand with the work.  He has recently become a member of the website helpx.net, a resource that connects travelers with hosts offering room and board in exchange for work they may need at their home, farm, business.  We currently have two visitors through helpx from Canada visiting here for a month… or longer as things may go.

Living this past year in exchange for room and board at the Seminar Haus has been interesting and challenging.  Here in Wettenbostel we are asked to work three to four hours a day… but the truth and experience of that is we are part of a “community” here and asked to contribute to what needs to be done on any given day.  Some days before seminars we can get very busy and rushed and it isn’t unusual to work 8 or ten-hour days.  Generally speaking we do not have days off here, although sometimes after a seminar we will take the next day a bit more slowly.

This past year has been a bit of a dance with me and my host finding the jobs that I do well and in a way that is pleasing to him.  I have had to learn to be flexible, try new things, fail, try again and communicate.  It relies not just on the physical work, but also maintaining the relationship with my hosts along the way.

The work I find I mostly do here at the seminar haus is cleaning the rooms before and after seminars.  We have 15 sleeping rooms total in all three buildings on the premises.  During seminar weekends I often spend a lot of time in the kitchen.  We serve three meals a day and I have helped with breakfast, lunch and dinner… sometimes helping to prep the food and often cleaning up afterwards.

I have done other miscellaneous jobs over the year.  I have painted the ceiling in the big dojo, pulled weeds and dug edges in the garden, assisted with cleaning and organizing the home of my host, and I have given Reiki treatments.  Through it all I have learned many lessons.   I have learned to have more patience, with myself and others.  I have learned to be more flexible as the spirit of this place and my hosts is unpredictable.  I have learned to take more initiative… that is considering what needs to be done or what could be done or asking what should be done in the course of the day when things may be slow.  And I have learned, and continue to learn, what it means to give of myself to others and asking myself… what is it I have to give today.  I have learned to continue to work in the face of my own challenges or resistance to the work at hand and I have explored setting boundaries for myself that still gives me time and space to take care of myself and meet my own needs in balance with what needs to be done and what is happening in my environment.

Like I said, this time of doing trade has been a dance… I am not sure what kind of dance exactly it is… but ultimately I feel it is good and nourishing for me.  It has taken me down new roads and paths, and it has pushed and challenged me mentally, emotionally and physically.

And after a year, I feel I am just beginning to find my feet in this new way.  There are places where I feel I have faltered and places where I feel I have grown.   Wow, what a time it has been!  And will continue to be… learning to live life in a new way.

Photo from the gardens of the Seminar Haus in Wettenbostel.

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Friday the 13th

13 Apr

Another day in Wettenbostel!  The cool not yet spring air of April is invigorating as I find my way back to the little room where lately I have called my home.  I just finished eating a little dinner and enjoying the company of our visiting Canadians.  During dinner we were doused and periodically entertained by the injected energy of our host, Michael.  We are now complete with four residents here at the Seminar Haus with the return of Dan, porch companion, Reiki Master from Oregon and long-time resident here in Wettenbostel.

It is Friday the 13th and I wonder if that accounts for some of the strangeness of the day.  There is a new dynamic and energy here in Wettenbostel with our shifted collection of folks and my hosts returning from their week-long escape to Austria.  I’m noticing new ebbs and flows which sometimes have me feeling a little dizzy and sometimes feeling a little lost or left out in the cold.

Our new visiting Canadians are a young couple who have been traveling around Europe since September of 2011.  They found their way to the Seminar Haus through the on-line web-site helpx.net, a resource for work exchange for travelers.  They arrived at the Seminar Haus in the midst of kitchen chaos during the week-long Aikido workshop.  They seem to be doing a good job so far of riding the Wettenbostel wave… where you never know what will happen next.  Both are friendly, with big hearts and loving kindness.

The sun is starting to set on this Friday the 13th and I have to say I am glad for this day to wean away.  It has been filled with a mixture of emotions that I am ready to tuck into bed into the comfort of a good night sleep.  All is well in the land of Wettenbostel.  Things are shifting on the inside and out.  Somethings are clear.  Some things are uncertain.  And a new cast of characters assembled for now… falling asleep underneath the Wettenbostel moon on this night,  Friday the 13th.

Photo by me, gypsy woman, from the budding gardens of Wettenbostel.

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Pruning

26 Mar

Well things are definitely changing here in Wettenbostel.  The birds are back and … possibly taking over.  Here it is 8:04pm and the loudest sound I hear is the birds singing.  So sweet… it is almost silly.  We recently had a time change so rather than the early darkness of winter, dark outside by 5pm… the day is now stretched and light still remains in the sky as I am writing.

I had some time on my own today to do a little work.  I am practicing my digging skills, creating an edge around the many garden beds here and giving them some shape.  My host refers to this as an English method of gardening.  Gardening in general is one of the areas where you could say I…have room for growth.  But I am willing to learn and find that I really love being outside and being in the dirt and connected to the plants, creatures and flowers.  During the process of learning and discerning in the garden I find I need to have some patience with myself.

It was late afternoon/early evening when my host arrived to do a little gardening himself.  Master gardener that he is, the garden is truly his universe.  As he was immersed in his fervent gardening, I sheepishly asked… are there any other little projects you might like me to do?  Perhaps something I could do today and continue this week?  “Why yes” he said with an enthusiasm in his body and his eyes that can be… almost daunting.   And we headed towards… the roses.

Now the roses here in Wettenbostel pre-spring don’t look all that rosy just yet.  Mostly they are greenish and brownish looking nubs most distinctly identified by their thorny limbs.  The task of the hour?  Pruning the roses.  A new thing for me, I must admit.

What is most new to me in gardening is being aware of myself and the impact I have on all of the little living creatures in the garden.  One false step and I have knocked out the potential life of some unassuming plant or flower.  In its current state it may look like nothing more than a little stem with a green leaf, but one false move and… gone!  I was cautiously warned by my host once, no twice… to “look out!  look out for that!…”  I empathized with him imagining it seemed as if I was carelessly swinging a bat through his china store.  I did my best to listen and… pay attention.

So once I got clear that I was not stepping on his favorite plant, he showed me a thing or two about pruning roses.  Pruning them, as it turns out, gives the roses strength and helps them grow.  I was to clip the brown or black branches all the way down to their base or where the green or “life” began.  The healthier branches still needed a little trimming for best growth.  So those I cut back to a place where there was a bud already growing to promote the growth of that bud… about a half inch above it.  It took me a few times to get the knack of it.  I took a few rounds with my host to get clear what he wanted while I was pruning.  I received a few more reminders not to trample on his garden.  Yes, I kept forgetting about that.  Pay attention.  But in the end it was… fun.  And, a beginning.  I pruned one bed of many beds in the garden of Wettenbostel.  So more pruning to do!

My host encouraged me to keep the beds clean as I was pruning…. don’t leave the clippings behind but instead toss them into the center of the bed that is the general space for “compost”.  I had to laugh as nearly every time I tossed a branch or clipping towards the center it would get caught or hung up on a limb or tree or something… dangling, taunting me.  But it was… a good effort.

The experience of pruning the roses required that I have a more delicate touch and sensitivity.  At dinner tonight as I began to peel the onions to chop for the meal, I couldn’t help but notice how the soft peelings of the onions skins felt new and delicate in my hands.  A different sensation since pruning the roses.

I thought perhaps we all could use some pruning in our lives.  Some things cut back or cut off to make room for new growth….and sometimes we get some things clipped that perhaps we were attached to but ultimately makes us stronger.

The pruning of the day is done and all that is left is the cool evening air and the light that has now diminished to dark.  There is a beautiful bright crescent moon in the night sky and near-bye what looks like a bright shining planet.  It is stunning.  I imagine tomorrow will be another day in the garden enjoying the newness of the warm sun.  Hanging out with the roses… doing my best not to step on other living creatures…and doing a little pruning.

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Unbound

1 Mar

For years now I have had this feeling… like I have been bound up as if tied up with tape… perhaps gagged and often unable to move very freely, let alone breath.  This feeling expands and contracts.  Sometimes very noticeable.  Other times less. If you would like a mental image for it, you can refer to the tarot deck.  The 8 of swords…  there she is. Tied up with seemedly no place to go.  In my years of reading the tarot she has shown up more than once in my own readings.  “There she is again”, I would think… never quite sure what to do with her.

My experience with the 8 of swords and being in “bondage” is that it usually takes someone besides yourself to get out.  Kind of like that game where a bunch of people join hands and make a human knot… and then often an outsider is required to coach the group as they detangle.  When detangling oneself, it helps if that external person is someone wise who you can count on.  With that in mind, I have started back seeing my therapist from New Orleans.  We are meeting every other week via Skype. She has a good eye for detangling… and can see things and offer suggestions in ways that just would not occur to me.  She is resourceful.  In my work with her, the  theme for me is “softness”… learning to explore and be with the challenges I feel and face in my being and my body in a way that is soft.  Holding them, as she says, in a way that is loving, patient and compassionate.  It is a good practice for me. I have a habit of being a bully with myself.  It is also a practice for which I need… support.  And an external eye to see things that I cannot see.

The past few days in Wettenbostel my host seems to be coming out of his winter sleep.  No longer frost on the ground but still a good bite in the air, he has a fiestiness to his energy like a bear coming out of hibernation.  He has recruited me to be of assistance in his latest project… chopping down trees.  Here in Germany, or at least in Wettenbostel, the local Forrester goes around and marks all of the trees that are suitable for cutting.  Then those trees can be cut down by, I believe the end of February.  So these past few days, chop, chop chop…down they went.  I made myself useful by pulling the cut off branches out of the farmers land and into the clearing of trees.  “You did that must faster than I expected…” he said.  Always nice to receive a complement.  And what can I say, I thought, I just moved… and dragged the trees.  And then it was done.  It was good to be out in the fresh open air and doing some physical work and I may have had  little vigor myself in my movement.  Sometimes its nice just to work and not have to think.

Today we continued to clear out the trees and loaded the trunks which my host cut with a chainsaw into his trailer for chopping.  He tried to recruit me to use his smaller chainsaw the other day… but even it felt “heavy” to me.  Not quite what I wanted to be doing… holding something that felt “heavy” that happened to be a chainsaw!  He teased me and said I am a physical wuss.  Well, perhaps so… but in that moment I did not see using the chainsaw in my immediate future.

He intends to teach me how to chop wood.  Something I am open to and willing to give a shot… yet, of course as a physical “wuss” I will not push it too hard as I imagine those are musicles I have perhaps… never used.  As he is also a martial arts teacher, I imagine there will be some technique to the chopping besides swing the axe and hit the wood really hard.  We will see.

But no chopping for me today.  Instead I departed my work with my host and went to give a reiki treatment to the queen of the Seminar Haus.  They are both Reiki Masters and enjoy receiving treatments.  It is not quite a regular thing around here, but Reiki is readily used to heal physical wounds and also help smooth over and move through challenging times and emotions.

I have been spending some time lately on helpx.net…a website for international work exchange.  It connects hosts who have a room and board to offer to travelers in exchange for some work in their home, business, farm…castle…  I am taking some time to see what else is out there in other countries and perhaps someplace or places new to stay.  It is an amazing website and resource.  Some hosts welcome travelers for shorter visits like a week.  And other are seeking “helpers” as they are called to be with them for months.  We will see what unfolds.

And otherwise, just another quiet evening in Wettenbostel.  Some good energy in a little outdoor work.  A skype appointment with my therapist today.  And practice, and experience in being kind, patient and compassionate with myself… with the intent of being unbound.

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Being at ease

30 Nov

Ah!  Well, I have arrived in a sweet new location.  Looking outside of the window seeing the rolling hills.  I am now in a small village called Hilpertsau in an area in Germany known as the Black Forest…greeted by the kindness and hospitality of Imke and Michael, a host family I connected with through a website for travelers called Helpx.net.  Feeling the freshness and softness of this new space in the wake of leaving the fullness and richness of my time and experience in Wettenbostel.

My last few days in Wettenbostel were a busy time for me. Deeply wrapped in the experience of a workshop at Wettenbostel this past weekend and then spending time with Jörn, my German friend and fellow resident at the Seminar Haus, before I left today.  Drinking up all of the experience that was there for me, appreciating it as much as I could before departing.

The workshop I participated in was…a totally new experience for me.  You can call it an experiment… of sorts.  It was no ordinary workshop.  It was…a tantric workshop.  What is tantra you say?  Even after the workshop I cannot say that I know for sure.  What I can share, most simply expressed, is that tantra is a spiritual path that connects the spiritual and the erotic through the connection of the heart. Hmmm… sound interesting?

I was first encouraged to attend the workshop by my friend and former Wettenbostel porch companion, Dan. And one of the leaders of the tantra workshop, Astrid, is a Reiki Master and friend of the Seminar Haus.  The seminar is open to singles and couples and for this weekend I learned they were in need of more women to participate and I was welcome to join them.  So there it was… a door opening… dare I walk through?  After a little guidance from a few trusted voices… I decided to go ahead and… participate.

The workshop began on a Friday night.  New faces and voices filling the halls of the Seminar Haus.   I was a little nervous to participate.  Well, that is putting it mildly. But the kindness and sweetness of Astrid and the assistants helped to comfort me. During registration I was told a few ground rules… most importantly to love and trust myself in this experience. And then I was told to wear nice underclothes for that evening.  Okay, I thought.  Here we go.

We met in the seminar room in the Big Dojo, the room transformed into a warm living temple.  The other leader, Lucian, arrived with big energy wearing a bright red suit. The workshop was led in German.  And although I don’t speak German, I saw and watched and listened and when needed a helpful, friendly neighbor or assistant would whisper an English translation in my ear.

The seminar was divided into sessions with long generous breaks, giving me time to drink it what was offered.  Morning began with yoga and most sessions started with music and dancing… letting go a little bit, connecting with the body and with others. Then a new ritual or exercise was introduced, many with a chosen partner.  A few of the exercises helped to let go of emotional pain blocking the expression of self and sexual energy.  And still others helped to open up the sexual energy and get more connected to being in the body and its joy and innocense.

As the weekend progressed, my nervousness decreased a little bit as I began to see that, while challenging, the work and the exercises were really helping me and opening me. The other participants there were kind, warm and welcoming.  And I got to see and experience in myself… glimpses of things… I hardly knew were there.  I began to feel a little more ease in myself through exploring this expression.  Letting go of some of my boundaries that… just didn’t work anymore.

In the end for me the workshop experience was challenging, but deeply opening.  I saw a tremendous amount of healing for myself and others around being comfortable with and expressing myself sexually and just being at ease with me.  I got more connected to my own power.

And for now, here I am… in a sweet new spot.  The beginning of another journey.  New people, new experiences, more learning and healing.  Just a wandering flower… growing in Europe and beginning to be… at ease.

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Community

21 Oct

Just another day here in Wettenbostel.  I can feel the rhythms and the flow of all of us here living together as our lives weave through, near and around each other.  The ins and the outs of the day.  The colorful life of living in community.

I woke up this morning to join the lately typical morning crew in kitchen… my friend the bicycling traveling German, Jörn and our host.  They were having a hearty morning conversation… mostly in German.  My host is Canadian but has lived here for about 25 years… so German has become part of his nature.  He can switch from English to German like changing the channel.  Often I have to remind him… as he is speaking to me in German… English please… English… and I push the English button and he speaks English.

I am talking more about learning German… and when people ask me if I have learned any German I now talk more about wanting to, or trying to, or exploring that.  More German has been spoken around here lately with Jörn staying at Seminar Haus… so I find the motivation to learn has increased.  Different people have offered different suggestions.  Learn one word a day… watch movies in German.  So the door to learning is opening… It would be nice to be a part of the secret German world currently such a mystery to me.

It is so wild to be present to a conversation spoken with sounds that I cannot even discern as words.  Language.  Wow.  Really something else. As an American speaking English perpetually and exclusively for so many years in the great big island of America… I came to think, although not consciously, that the language I used to describe things was fixed like truth.  A toothbrush is a toothbrush… right?  But it’s not… In German it is called a zahnbürste… or at least that is what Google Translate says… my trusted translating companion.

Jörn and my hosts have departed briefly for the nearest town, Luneburg.  It is a beautiful city and the place to go often for shopping and other needs.  Jörn who joined us here in Wettenbostel  as a first step in a New Adventure returns now to Luneburg, his home, for a few days… with bicycle in tow.  What is next on his adventure?  It seems it is still unfolding.  I venture to say that he will go will the flow.  I too will do a little flowing… this weekend as I head for a little excursion to Hamburg.  My friend Olaf is leading a healing seminar on Sunday and I will go to attend.

And for now… just a little time on my own… as the ebb and flow of my community in Wettenbostel has shifted on to Lüneburg giving me some time to soak in the silence in the brisk autumn air.  Some time to myself.  Nice and appreciated… but also appreciated is being connected to, among and in… community.

Photo by Michael Hartley

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